Lies and Defenses
by puddingflaun
Summary: Len Kagamine is stuck in a complicated, abusive relationship with his mother- and he will do everything he can to keep it hidden from his sister and his band members. Rated for violence, language, child abuse and references to suicide. KaitoxLen
1. Chapter 1 : Tea and joy

Summary: Len has to put up with his mother's abusive mood swings and his sister's hyperactive energy while balancing both his band and his memory at the same time. It's worked this whole time... but who knows what trouble one misstep will bring?

Rated for violence, child abuse, and angst. Implied slash and muches of fluffy YAOI. Dont like, dont read.

I DONT OWN VOCALOID! (If I did Len wouldn't fucking DIE every single song... and Kaito wouldn't be such a wimp.)

No flames please! But I appreciate ALL constructive critisism and REVIEWS=WAFFLES!

Please enjoy ~

* * *

><p>CHAPTER ONE<p>

Len strummed the yellow bass lightly, humming a tune as he tapped his foot. The room was covered in the muted shadows of dawn, making the already almost empty music room seem deserted. But that was the way that Len liked it best, all alone in his favorite room, playing his beloved bass, while waiting for his best friends to arrive.

Suddenly a small beam of light shone through the window across the room from where Len was sitting, on a couch in the middle of the room facing the door. The rays lit up the floor and slowly reached their way up to a music stand, reflecting the light in several directions. Len squinted and raised one hand up to cover his eyes, trying to block it out.

"It's already this late?" Len mumbled, setting his bass aside and twisting around to look at the school clock.

7:21, and school started at 8:00 - Len had plenty of time. He bounced up from the couch and walked over to peer out the window onto the school gates. Sure enough, he saw three figures walking up the sidewalk to the main entrance, laughing happily, oblivious to anything. Len smiled lightly, then pulled away from the window and walked over to the cabinet, where he pulled out a pot, kettle, tea leaves, pastries, and four tea cups; time to make tea.

"LEEEN!" A loud scream made Len snap his head up and set down the last cup of tea in its place on the table (made from school desks).

He cautiously moved over to the door and cracked it open. All he could see was a flash of yellow and the door burst open and Len was squished into a bear hug.

"You didn't walk to school with us this morning!" Rin cried, breaking away from her twin brother and shaking his shoulders.

Finally Len managed to stumble clumsily back into the classroom as Luka and Miku appeared from the top of the stairs.

"Len!" Miku smiled, running over to rub Len's head. "What's up? Have you been practicing?"

"Of course!" Len pouted and waited patiently for Miku to stop and put down her guitar.

"I already made tea." Len said, motioning over to the desks gathered in the back corner of the room.

"Ooh...! That looks delicious, Len, thanks! Did you enjoy your weekend?" Luka said and tapped Len's short, nodding head as she made her way across the floor to the sink to wash her hands.

Len followed behind Luka, pulling Rin along with him. The four sat down and began to chatter while sipping their tea.

"Do you remember when Akito-sensei fell asleep when he was typing our lesson on his computer?" Miku laughed, tears coming to her eyes. "He kept snapping his eyes open and shaking his head to keep awake for the rest of the lecture!"

Rin, Luka and Len doubled over laughing, eventually quieting down and giggling to themselves while eating.

'Lucky, I wish I were in the same class.' Len peered down at his tea, where a stalk floated lazily. 'I just want to get school over with and practice, but then again home isn't really-'

"BEEEEEEEEEEP!" The bell rang out all over the school, making the laughing group all look up at the clock.

7:45, time to start heading for their homerooms. Len stood up and slung his bag over his shoulder.

"I guess I'll see you all after school, then." Len said, nodding goodbye to his friends as they parted to separate classrooms.

"Bye-bye, Len." Rin said, waving with Luka and Miku and entering their classroom.

Len stepped into his own class's boring aura and sighed as he set his bag down on his beat up desk. A tall boy ran up behind Len just as he was sitting down and rapped his knuckles on the desk top.

"What's with the sigh, Len?" He asked, leaning down to look at his friend.

"..." Len peered up at his classmate wearily. "Nothing, Kio, just family crap."

"Aha, as always." Kio shrugged and grinned. "So very mysterious. How's your club going? Still not gonna give soccer a chance?"

Just as Len opened his mouth in protest, a girl came up from Len's other side and suddenly slammed her hands on Len's desk. Len jumped and whipped around to face her.

"Again with that? You know how much he LOVES his club, don't tease him!" She scolded Kio, pointing a finger at him. "He would do better in Karate, anyway!"

"Whoa, Kyoko, didn't see you there." Kio raised his eyebrows lazily.

"Wha?" she blushed and slammed her hands again. "I told you not to call me that! My name is Sachiko! Just because I'm going out with Kyosuke doesn't give you the right to nickname me!"

"I heard my name." A voice appeared out of nowhere and the three all looked up to see a tall, handsome boy towering above Len.

"Kyosuke!" Sachiko cried, jumping up to hug her boyfriend. "I didn't see you come in, honey bear!"

"Um..." Len tilted his head to one side and stared at Kio innocently. "Do you get it?"

Kio gazed blankly at Len for a few seconds then burst out laughing.

"I don't, but I guess they must have some weird connection." Kio smirked and rubbed Len's head before striding over to his own desk on the other side of the room.

While pulling out his math notebook, Len internally groaned. Somehow, his whole class all seemed to think of his as a toy, cute, short, and emotionless. Kio, Kyosuke, Sachiko, Lulu, and Daisuke were small exceptions; they actually seemed to care about Len's feelings and shared their own. Most of the time, Len liked his friends in his class, but every so often he wished that he was all alone.

Waiting for the end of the day to come.

* * *

><p>Sorry if it doesn't get exciting until later : ... Once again, PLEASE REVIEW! NO FLAMES!


	2. Chapter 2 : Secrets and suspicion

Misa: NEW CHAPTER YAAAAAY!  
>Len: ... why is it always me...?<br>Misa: Because you're the cutest and the most fun to toture~  
>Len:...<p>

DISCLAIMER CRAP= DOES NOT OWN.

Enjoy~~

* * *

><p>CHAPTER TWO<p>

Miku was late, as usual. She had stayed behind in the classroom to clean out her desk because she had left her lunch in the very back of it for five weeks, and bad things were happening. Len had entered the classroom slightly late as well. On his way up the stairs to the music classroom, he had tripped and fell, scraping his hands and knees. He stumbled into the classroom where Luka and Rin were setting up tea and said hello before heading over to the medicine cabinet.

"You're late... what happened?" Rin said, looking at the box of band-aids he pulled out from the first aid kit.

Len sighed and pulled out a couple of band-aids. "I tripped coming up the stairs."

"Silly." She giggled; helping Len put the band-aids on his hands. "Come on, today's treat is strawberry cake."

For a split second when Rin pushed up Len's jacket sleeves, she thought she saw the unmistakable white of a bandage wrapped around his wrists. Her eyes widened, but Len pulled away before she could say anything.

"Thanks, it sounds yummy!" Len said quickly, then sped over to the table, where they waited for Miku.

Len's relationship with Rin was simple, yet complicated. They were twins, and had always been closest to each other; until the divorce. Len's father, Keiichiro, had finally gotten tired of how Len's mother had always tried to take control over everything, acting like nothing belonged to anyone else but her. It was always her Rin, her Len, her house, her money; so her just stood up one day and let it all out. All the things they said to each other, there was no way that they were ever getting back together. After that, they argued about who would get Rin and who would get Len. When this subject was brought up, their mother was outraged...

"Sorry I'm late!" Miku yelled, bursting through the doors and flinging herself across the classroom. "Ooh! Cake!"

She threw down her bag and fell into a chair, beginning to eat immediately.

"It was revolting! The leek salad was all moldy and the juicy, nasty stuff got all over my history notebook!" She complained, her mouth full of cake. "I'm going to have to rewrite that whole thing over again!"

"That sucks, I had to do that too one time." Len said. "I had gotten some bloo- juice spilled all the way through."

From across the table, Rin nodded suspiciously. "I remember going with you to get a new one."

"You tripped over the vegetable display!" Len laughed, then stood up and gathered every one's plates; still chuckling.

"And you dropped the can of peaches and it exploded everywhere." Rin said, giving in and smiling with the memory.

Miku and Luka looked at each other, winked, and moved over to the other side of the room where their instruments waited. Luka splayed her fingers across her pink keyboard, set up by Rin's yellow drums. Miku unzipped her black case and pulled out her teal guitar, while Len picked up his bass from the couch.

"What first?" Luka asked, turning to Miku; the singer.

Miku put on her guitar strap while thinking. "How about 'Melt'?"

We all nodded, then Rin smacked her drum sticks together and counted us into song.

"One two three!"

'Waking up in the morning, the first thought I have is you!  
>I suddenly decided to cut my bangs to hear you say 'Why the new style?'<br>A pink skirt, flower barrette in my hair, and it's time to go  
>Today I look super cute!<p>

Melt! I might melt... to say 'I love you' is impossible... Yet,  
>Melt! I can't even meet your eyes!<br>I'm not going to be in love with love, not me.  
>Because it's you that...<br>I like!

The weather forecast was wrong, now I'm caught in the pouring rain.  
>There's and umbrella in my bag, I sigh, feeling sad.<br>Then at that moment- 'I guess I have no choice, come under the umbrella with me.'  
>You said next to me, laughing.<br>The sound of my falling in love echoed!

Melt! I can't breathe! My right hand trembles as it touches yours, that's why...  
>My heart beats faster, an umbrella shared by us. If I reach out, I could touch you!<br>What should I do...? I hope my feelings reach you.  
>Please stop the time in this moment, I'm about to cry-<br>Yet, I'm so happy I could die!

Melt! We are almost at the train station! We have to part, you are so close, yet so far...so!  
>Melt! I want to walk holding hands! Do we have to say bye-bye already?<br>Right now, please hold me in your arms!  
>...As if!'<p>

After the song ended, they all looked around at each other; smiles shining on their faces.

"That was perfect!" Luka cried with a blush.

"Your solo was great!" Len called to her happily, drawing out a flustered 'thank-you' and a stumble from the pianist.

"You were really steady, Rin!" Miku said, whipping around to praise the drummer.

"And your singing was amazing!" Rin said back, giving her a thumbs up.

They all laughed, then Len looked up at the clock.

"5:13!" Len suddenly burst out, his smile replaced with a look of distress, and hurriedly began to shove away all his things into his school bag.

"What?" Miku called. "What about it?"

"I told my mom that I'd be home at 5:30, and it takes at least 30 minutes to get home!" he wailed and hoisted his bass over his shoulder, then flung the door open. "See you tomorrow!"

The door slammed shut and the three girls stood in silence as Len's footsteps faded. Luka tilted her head to the side, peering over at Rin.

"What is you guys' mom like? He seemed devastated." she asked, flexing her fingers and sitting on the couch.

"Well... I'm not really sure because I don't know that much, but mother acts differently with Len than with me. To be honest, she once got into a yelling fit at Len when we were six and she thought I wasn't home. She was ranting about something weird, like 'bad influences' and stuff like that. She's overly protective, and has mood swings. I'd never seen her like that... the thing is, Len really loves mother, so he kinda fails at defending himself. On top of that, sometimes she's really rash and strict, but other times she's really patient and gentle. Dad always had more of connection with me than with Len because Len always got sick when we were little. Because of that, it usually ended up being me that went on fishing trips and baseball games with dad. That's why I live with dad, and Len lives with mother. It really irks me though, because whenever I try to go over and play with Len, he always protests and tells me to 'wait ten minutes', and runs inside without telling me anything." Rin stopped for a moment and thought back to the bandages on her brother's wrists. "He's definitely hiding something."

Miku and Luka stared at Rin for a while, analyzing.

"Wow. I never knew you mother was like that. I wonder what he's trying to hide, I have to admit that I've been suspicious about him lately." Miku pondered with a frown.

Luka shook her head and turned to the window, watching Len run through the school gates and out of sight.

"Actually, I should be getting home, too; I'm going to work on the lyrics to our new song."

"Really? We'll walk to the station with you!" Rin said and hopped up from her throne. "Right?"

"Sure!" Miku grinned, and they all laughed and shrugged off all thoughts of Len.

* * *

><p>Next chapter is the into of two new characters... please review and read the next chapter!<p> 


	3. Chapter 3 : Physically and Mentally

I'm back~~~! Next chapter... finally uploaded...

Just like to say ahead of time- Len... I'm sorry! and I love you!

and...

IM _STILL_ NOT OWNING VOCALOID!

...surprised?

Please enjoy!

* * *

><p>CHAPTER THREE<p>

"You're late."

"I know." Len whispered, his head lowered. "Clean-up ran later than I had expected."

His mother glowered at Len, then straightened herself and put her hands on her hips. Len stood, completely still, in the front hall; his school bag clutched in his hand and his bass still strapped to his back. His mother towered above Len, a look of disgust on her face.

"I told you to be back at 5:30. You're 12 minutes late," she raised her arm and Len flinched.

The slap resounded across the hallway. Len stood his ground, his head turned to one side and a red mark on his cheek.

"WHY DIDN'T YOU COME HOME!" She screamed, grabbing a flower vase on a shelf beside her.

She threw in at Len, who had now backed up against the door, fear in his eyes. The vase crashed into the front door, sending shards across the tile.

"YOU ALWAYS DO WHAT I SAY!" She yelled, this time grabbing a rock shpaed like a heart the size of a fist with 'Love' engraved on it and threw it.

The rock made contact with Len's chest, making him cry out and slide to the floor.

"DON'T YOU EVER DISOBEY ME! EVER!" She went on, still chucking random objects at him.

Another vase, a picture frame, candles, sculptures, CDs, DVD cases, and shoes rained down to the floor.

Len covered his face with his arms as more glass assaulted his uniform, shredding the cloth and staining it red. By now, his mother had calmed down a little, and the strength behind the attacks were lessening.

"Promise me..." She panted while slowly grabbing hold of a long metal candle holder. "That you won't defy me, right?"

Len raised his head and looked up at her with an unreadable expression from the floor.

"Promise me." She ordered firmly, her grip on the metal tightening. "Now."

"I..." Len whispered, his voice soft. "I...promise."

"You must always love me above everything." She continued, raising the candle holder. "You will answer to me first."

Len nodded, his head dropping again and hiding his eyes. She grinned and brought down the metal hard on Len's head. He gasped and fell to the floor, the glass shimmering all around him.

"I love you, Len," she crooned, smiling obsessively at her unconscious son. "So much that I want to break you."

* * *

><p>Len wearily blinked open his eyes an hour and a half later. The glass had been cleaned up and he had been somehow shoved into the hallway from the foyer. He hazily shook his head, trying to get a hold of himself. Len managed to stand up by using the wall, and started to limp down the hallway to his room. On the way there, he passed the kitchen where his mother, Saya, was humming and cooking dinner on the stove.<p>

'Great, she's back in a good mood,' Len thought with a sigh as he fell into his room.

It was painted yellow, with photographs of his friends and family tacked up on every wall. His computer sat in the back corner by the window with a music note screen saver, the sun's rays shadowing the monitor as it bled through the yellow curtains. Sitting on his bed was a tall boy with blue hair, waiting patiently for Len.

"Kaito!" Len exclaimed, quickly shutting the door behind him. "What are you doing here?"

"I came in through your window about five minutes ago. I was going to visit you because I heard screaming," the boy said, standing up and crossing the floor to look Len over. "Did Saya have a fit again?"

Len nodded unhappily and looked up into Kaito's deep blue eyes.

"Thanks for caring." Len smiled reluctantly, reaching up to hug Kaito tightly.

With a tight squeeze, Kaito lifted up Len and set him on the bed.

"I'll help with the bandages, 'kay?" Kaito said, pulling a first-aid box from Len's bookcase.

"Thanks." Len said with a laugh, easing up at Kaito's presence. "I wanted to see you anyway, so it's good that you came, really."

Kaito's eyes widened and he turned his head to look at Len. "Really?"

Len blushed and looked away. "Maybe..."

"Hmm...?" Kaito grinned, sat down next to Len, and gently kissed the top of his head. "Yay!"

They both laughed and set to work patching up all the wounds on Len's arms, face and chest.

* * *

><p>Introducing Kaito... at last! :3 Please review! (and in case you didn't know... NO FLAMES! ALL THEY DO IS HEAT UP MY INSANELY COLD ROOM!... it's all my garage's fault... TTwTT)<p>

See you next time...


	4. Chapter 4 : Keys and Fevers

I'm baaaack! AND GUESS WHAT!

So is Len~ -w- 3

VOCALOID is not mine. Once again.

Read and review!

* * *

><p>CHAPTER FOUR<p>

_In a pitch black room with coldness seeping in through the walls, soft sobs could be heard over the blood curdling screams in the background. Hopes, wishes, dreams and love all drained into the floor through tears and blood, washing away the feeling of the concrete sucking at the warmth of the body lying on the ground. His training was almost done, and a brand new hell was not far away..._

* * *

><p>"Good morning..." Len yawned, swaying into the music room.<p>

Luka, Miku and Rin all looked up at Len, shock plastered to their faces.

"It's after school, Len." Rin said, standing up and walking over to her brother, collapsed on the couch.

"Oh." He said, sincere surprise and realization in his voice.

Miku groaned and came over to join the twins on the couch. Gently Rin pushed back the hair on Len's forehead and felt his temperature.

"You're burning!" Rin exclaimed, snatching her hand away.

Len looked up at her wearily and sighed. "That would be why everything went fuzzy during history."

Rin gaped at him for a couple of seconds then huffed and flapped her arms around. Luka came up from behind the couch and felt Len's forehead, completely wrapped up in worry.

"You need to get home, and fast." Luka order, stalking around the couch and picking up Len's schoolbag.

She rummaged around for a while until she pulled out Len's yellow cell phone.

"Here." She said, shoving the cell into Len's bandaged hands. "Take thi-"

She stopped suddenly and knelt down, clutching Len's hands. Worriedly, she looked them over; inspecting the band-aids covering his palms and knuckles. On one huge band-aid on his right palm, you could see fresh blood from underneath staining the cloth.

"What happened?" Luka cried, her eyebrows furrowed.

"Nothing much..." Len mumbled and pulled his hands away. "I dropped a vase, that's all."

Rin raised an eyebrow and exchanged glances with Miku and Luka.

"Oh well, just call mom and get her to pick you up." Rin sighed, picking up the phone and handing it to Len.

After he took the phone, Len looked up at Rin with bewilderment.

"What?" he said. "You didn't know?"

"Huh?" Rin blinked.

"She told me that she told Dad... Mom isn't allowed to drive anymore."

"What?" Rin yelled, throwing her hands into the air. "Nobody ever told me that! Why can't she drive?"

Len held up his hands in protest. "Her doctor said that she was too unstable!"

Rin's arms dropped, a look of defeat on her face. "Unstable? What?"

"Her mood swings got too serious." Len shrugged, running a hand through his hair. "My psychiatrist agreed, apparently-"

"WHAT?" All three girls yelled, turning their full attention to Len, who had raised his hands again into a defensive position from the shock of the outburst.

"A psychiatrist?" Miku cried, coming closer to where Len was sitting.

"Since when?" Luka got up to stand in the middle of Miku and Rin.

"And why?" Rin demanded, closing the half circle in on the bewildered blonde.

Len put his hands to his mouth, surprised. "Oops."

With a groan, Rin folded her arms. Right when she opened her mouth, a ring came from Len's cell phone. He blinked, then gently reached out and flipped it open, still peering at Rin.

"Yes? This is Len." He said, wearily looking around at his friends looming over him. "Huh? You want to pick me up now? That's good, actually. I was planning on walking home soon, I have a fever so-"

"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!" A huge roar roar busted out of the phone, making them all jump and Len force the phone away from his ear. "AND YOU WERE PLANNING TO WALK HOME? ARE YOU EVEN AWARE OF YOUR RULES? REMEMBER WHAT HAPPENED LAST TIME YOU TRIED TO DO THAT? I HAD TO PULL YOU OUT OF THE RIVER, DAMMIT! YOU'RE SUCH AN IDIOT! GET OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW, I'M TAKING YOU BACK TO MY HOUSE!"

Len cautiously brought the phone back to his ear and spoke into it. "I'll be there soon, don't worry."

Luka turned to Rin and whispered into her ear, but Len didn't seem to notice. Rin simply shrugged in return and shook her head. They turned to Miku and pointed, but she also shrugged.

"Yes, I know... I'm doing fine and I'm taking my lessons." Len said, his tone warmer now. A pause and a blush rose on his cheeks. "... Me too... Yes... I'll be there soon."

He snapped the phone shut and turned to his sister.

"My friend is going to pick me up and take me to his house, happy?"

She frowned, but stepped back and put her hands on her hips.

"Tell me why you have a psychiatrist and when you got it." She ordered, her voice cold and sharp.

Len sighed and stood up, picking up his bag and bass case as he did. "First of all, he's not an it, his name is Dr. Hayate. He's a very... _nice_man and he's been seeing me for about three years now. I only see him because he's worried that somehow my mom having a split personality would affect me. That's it."

They all stood in silence as a minute ticked by.

"Can I go now?" He asked, switching his school bag from one hand to the other.

Rin stared at him for a moment longer, then dropped her gaze and stepped back. Len nodded, gave her a pained smile, and then ran out of the classroom.

"How come her never told me?" Rin whispered, clutching her arms tightly.

Luka looked over at her friend and smiled. "He probably didn't want you to worry."

"But still." Miku said, walking over to the window and watching a blue car drive away. "He has a lot of things that we don't know about, doesn't he? I for one don't believe that that's the only reason that he could have a psychiatrist for three years. This is deeper than I thought it was."

"Three years..." Rin said, shaking her head. "One year after the divorce. How could I have never noticed?"

"We need to find out what's REALLY going on." Luka murmured. "I'm starting to get worried."

The room eerily quiet, Rin fell back and landed on the couch. "I second that notion."

* * *

><p>Just a little side note here... I wont be able to upload my next chappie for a couple of days because my schedule has literally NO TIME FOR MY POOR BABY NETBBOOK (sad though, it is...). PLEASE BE PATIENT! I LOVE YOU ALLLLL! (btw... review :3)<p> 


	5. Chapter 5 : Medicine and Bananas

All done with the first half of my crammed weekend... im very grateful for the tiny break :'D.

I hope you guys enjoy the next chapter... and thank you sooooo much for the reviews!

Btw... i do NOT own Vocaloid :3

* * *

><p>CHAPTER FIVE<p>

"Kaito!" Len protested, trying desperately to squirm away from Kaito's grasp.

"Do you WANT this down the front of your shirt?" Kaito scolded, pushing Len harder against the wall.

The spoonful of green medicine pressed against Len's lips, eventually forcing them open and managing to get the green gunk into Len's mouth. He gagged for a moment, then finally swallowed and coughed lightly. Kaito released the pressure on Len's shoulders and let him free from the corner of the wall on Kaito's bed.

"Evil." Len moaned and waved his hands in front of his mouth, his tongue poking out from his lips. "That was revolting."

"Stop pouting." Kaito said, standing up and gently tucking Len into the bed. "You need to get some rest."

"Promise that you'll wake me up at 5:20?" Len asked, peering up from under the covers.

"Yup, I'll be sure and get you home in time." Kaito smiled.

Len shakily grinned back before he fell asleep.

* * *

><p>The next day, Len wasn't at school.<p>

"I wonder if he's even a little better." Miku sighed, crossing her legs.

Rin took a sip of afternoon tea and eyed her drums. "Our songs just don't sound the same without the bass."

"At least we have some good news!" Luka called from the couch. "I finished the lyrics!"

"Really!" Rin cried, twisting around in her chair to face Luka.

"The thing is, I'd like to show it to you guys all at once..." Luka said sadly, standing up and walking over to the table where her two friends sat.

"Then let's go visit Len!" Rin said and pulled out a banana from her school bag with a smile.

Miku and Luka smiled, and agreed. This would be their first time over to Len's house.

Rin, Miku and Luka all stood at the front gate of Len's house, waiting for a reply from the doorbell ring. The front door pulled open and Len stepped out clumsily, rubbing his eyes.

"Eh?" he said, looking over at his club members at his front gate. "Why...?"

"Len!" Rin cried, wrenching open the gate and running over to her brother in the doorway. "Why are you answering doors? You're sick!"

"Because Mom is at work." Len answered, like it was totally obvious. "Of course I have... to..."

Rin cried out as Len fell to the side and slumped against the door frame. Miku and Luka both yelled in alarm and ran up the front sidewalk to where Len had collapsed. Rin took his arm and slung it over to her shoulder, trying to pull her brother inside.

"You still have a high fever!" Rin wailed as she deposited Len in the foyer.

Luka closed the door behind Miku and they all wandered inside. Almost all the lights were off except for one in the last room in the left.

"Is that your room, Len?" Luka asked softly, leaning down to look at his face.

He nodded drowsily, his face flushed red from the fever. Miku and Rin both supported him as they made their way down the hallway to Len's room. When they entered, they gently laid Len down on the bed. Miku sat down on his computer chair and Rin sat on the bed next to Len, looking with awe and affection at all of his club pictures on the walls.

"I'll get you a wet washcloth." Luka smiled warmly at Len and sped out of the room.

"Why did you come here?" Len mumbled, turning to gaze at Rin.

"Luka wanted us all to hear the new lyrics together." Rin said and tucked the covers up to Len's chin.

Len smiled. "Thanks."

Rin and Miku continued to stare around at the room, looking at all the pictures. Just as the silence was starting to become uncomfortable, Luka appeared in the doorway with a wet washcloth.

"Here." She said, gently pushing back Len's hair and laying the cloth on his forehead.

"Thanks." Len smiled gratefully and propped himself up slightly.

Luka blushed and pulled her hand away quickly with a subtle nod.

"So!" Miku clapped her hands together and turned to Luka. "The song?"

"Oh, yes!" Luka said, pulling out a folded piece of paper from her pocket.

"The title is 'Love Words', I'll just read the first couple of lines and the chorus:

The child in me always seems to be causing trouble for you.  
>For listening to me, to you, I am so thankful, thankful.<p>

And then the chorus is:

Right now I'm in love with you, I mean to say, I'm in love with you.  
>Rather, I'm in love with you, to someone as foolish as me,<br>You gave your affection and you gave your love.  
>For listening to my song and crying, thank-you."<p>

"Wow!" Rin gaped. "That's perfect!"

"I'd be honored to sing that..." Miku breathed.

"I love it!" Len mumbled brightly, his smile hazy.

"Great!" Luka happily folded the paper back up and put it away.

Len smiled warmly for a few more seconds, then his eyes slowly closed and his head tilted to the side. Miku blinked, then giggled and rearranged Len so that he was lying down again.

"Is he asleep?" Rin whispered and placed the banana gently on Len's bedside table.

Miku nodded and picked up her school bag.

"Let's go."

* * *

><p>Wheeeeew... all done uploading... time to get sum HOT CHOCOLATE! (did i already mention that my room is fucking FREEZING? because it is and my fingers are all stumbly and i cant even type...)<p>

Anyway, see you again in a couple of days! Please review :DD


	6. Chapter 6 : New Songs and Phone Calls

Herro everyone who's stuck with me this far XDD I'm very grateful~~

Anyway, Please enjoy the next chapter of my fanfic about _VOCALOID_ (**WHICH I DO NOT OWN!**).

* * *

><p>CHAPTER SIX<p>

"I'm back!" Len said happily, bouncing into the music classroom.

"Len!" Rin exclaimed and ran over to hug her brother. "We missed you!"

He laughed and rubbed Rin's head. Luka and Miku smiled at Len from their positions, both warming up on their instruments.

"Time to play the new song?" Miku said, adjusting the strings on her guitar as Len pulled his bass from it's bag.

"Gladly!" Len laughed and picked up his bass. "I haven't played in a while."

"Great, let's start!" Rin said. She moved over to her drum set and plopped herself down on her throne. "One two three!"

_"The child in me always seems to be causing trouble for you.  
>For listening to me, to you, I am so thankful, thankful.<br>I will never forget this favor as long as I live,  
>I hid it inside along with my feelings and tried to put it into a song.<br>My love words are, 'LoveX10 = Thank you!'  
>Me, and you, and affection, and love, and fondness, and dislike<br>I'll sing of them again!_

_Right now I'm in love with you, I mean to say I'm in love with you._  
><em>Rather I'm in love with you, to someone as foolish as me,<em>  
><em>You gave your affection and you gave your love.<em>  
><em>For listening to my song and crying, thank you.<em>

_'I ate you.' ... Stupid._  
><em>'I did "what"?... Stupid.<em>  
><em>'Somehow, it seems that I forgot all about you.' ... Stupid.<em>

_I'm in love with you, but that's actually a (laugh) lie!_  
><em>The truth is I love you very much, I just can't bring myself to hurt you!<em>  
><em>But I'm in love with you, I'll give you all my heart.<em>  
><em>I want to laugh with you saying, 'So this was your song.'<em>

_A me who is like you, we're similar but different, we're different because we're similar._  
><em>As I keep saying I love you, these feelings of love keep growing and sending<em>  
><em>From me, to you, so many love words."<em>

Luka played the last note and they all smiled at each other.

"The lyrics work perfectly, Luka! Thanks!" Miku praised and sat her guitar on the couch.

"I suddenly feel like having a concert..." Len pondered, veering off into his imagination.

"I second that notion!" Rin said, standing up suddenly and walking over to the whiteboard while uncapping a marker. "At the school's annual summer end of school festival next week, we can perform as the music club!"

"That's a great idea!" Luka cried and clapped her hands together excitedly. "We can play Melt, Love Words, and World is Mine!"

"I like where this is going." Miku smirked, joining in.

"And I can get my friend Teto to make some clothes for us!" Rin continued, looking more pumped by the second. "It'll be amazing!"

"Costumes?" Len veered off for a bit, genuine fear on his face, and shook his head before continuing. "So next Friday, a week from tonight... I'll start writing this down..."

Just as he pulled out a pencil and paper, he paused and looked back up at the other three girls, now chatting away busily.

"Hey... can I ask you something?"

Rin, Miku and Luka all blinked with confusion.

"Is it... okay if I write a song for the performance?"

A small, confused 'eeh?' floated around the room for a few moments until Luka gasped.

"You have a song? Really?" She cried happily, clapping her hands together.

The blonde boy blushed and twiddled his fingers.

"Kind of... I already wrote down the actual music for all of our parts, I just need to get the lyrics sorted out. My friend said that he would help me if I needed it so..." He trailed off with an embarrassed look.

"That's great! Can we come by later to check it out once you're done?" Rin said, making Len perk up with joy and smile brightly.

"Yaay! Thank-you so much, I'll make sure that you love it!" He crowed joyfully.

Just as the words left his mouth, a small buzz emitted from the pocket of his jacket. Len flipped out his cellphone, reading the caller ID 'Kaito Shion' with light suprise.

"Sorry, I'll be back in a second." Len apologetically nodded to his club members and stepped outside into the hallway, closing the door behind him.

Rin raised an eyebrow then grinned maniacally and beckoned Miku and Luka to the door. Through a small crack, they could faintly hear Len's voice.

"Hey, what's up? ... Right now? ... That's fine." He said, his voice bright. "Eh? My mom? She already knows that I'm going out with you and she seems to like you, so it should be fine."

Rin gasped silently and put a hand up to her mouth.

"At the clock? Okay. I'll be there in about 10 minutes... Yes... Oh, that? Yeah, the wounds are starting to heal on my hands... haha LOL no, I had to tell everyone that I broke a vase... Not entirely a lie, right...? Well, Mom technically wasn't the one who broke it in the end...Hayate? He says that I'm doing better too, not like he really ever cared... No, but he says that I'll be able to go out alone soon. Yup, last time he had to come with me when I went shopping, what a pain... Yeah, he thinks that I'll try something funny again like last time... Remember? Oh, no. It's still blank... Don't worry, you'll be the first one to know when I find out. OK, see you... Love you, too."

Len snapped his phone shut and the three girls scrambled away from the door just in time for Len to slide it open and step inside.

"My friend called, we're going to hang out for a while." He explained calmly as he zipped up his bass.

Miku softly nudged Rin and looked up at her expectantly. Rin tightly shook her head and smiled, not giving anything away.

"OK, see you." She said lightly. "Don't forget to practice, hopefully we have a concert in a week!"

Len flashed her smile and quickly darted out of the music classroom and out of sight, the sound of his rushed footsteps receding down the hallway.

With a groan Rin rubbed her head against a wall when he was out of earshot. "So now he has a girlfriend, isn't allowed to go out alone, Hayate 'doesn't care' if he's doing better, he 'tried something funny' last time he was allowed out alone, doesn't remember something, and lied to us about the wounds on his hands."

"So let's follow him." Luka said, her face anxious. "I need to see his girlfriend."

Miku looked up at Luka with realization before cracking a smile.

"Time is getting away," she giggled happily and grabbed Rin's hand. "Don't you want to find out his secrets?"

* * *

><p>Mwa ha ha... I put in a fail cliffie :P<p>

Song is Love Words... obviously... it's a very good song 3

DO YOU KNOW WHO LEN'S 'GIRLFRIEND' IS! hopefully you do, because _you've been paying attention to the story_ and know that Len is not a cheater...

ON THE OTHER HAND... I hope you enjoyed it XP Please review and come back ~ next chapter and read!


	7. Chapter 7 : Lovers and Being Loved

Quick little thingeh here... VOCALOID is not mine and I do not like flames.

I do like reviews, thoguh :DD

Have you been waiting to see who Len's 'girlfriend is'? (LOL XD)

ENjooooy~

* * *

><p>CHAPTER SEVEN<p>

"There he is!" Luka hissed from where she his behind a poster with Miku and Rin.

Len stood by the clock, talking happily to someone who was hidden from view.

"Mooooooove.." Rin mumbled under her breath, leaning to the side to try and see better.

Then Len began walking, pulling with him hand and hand his 'girlfriend'.

"A boy...? And he's super hot!" Miku cried the moment she could make sense of Kaito, but only to be shut up by Luka slapping her hand over Miku's mouth.

"Shhh!" Luka whispered with a small sigh. "I guess he didn't mean what we thought he did-"

"Look!" Rin cut her off, pointing to Len.

Just as they turned, the tall, blue haired boy stopped, leaned down, cupped Len's chin with a hand, tilted Len's head back, and kissed him on the lips.

"Oh. My. God. Correction." Miku gaped,her eyes wide. "He has a BOYFRIEND."

"Len is gay?" Luka murmured and covered her ears with her hands, still trying to grasp the situation.

"My brother is gay and he never told me." Rin stuttered. "I don't believe this."

"Wait, they're moving. C'mon, let's go." Miku whispered with a grin, standing up and following the couple down the street.

* * *

><p>"Seriously?" Len laughed and took another bite of his banana split.<p>

"Yup, and according to her I'm not allowed to even wear my scarf to work. She just can't let it go." Kaito said with a grin.

They sat at a long bar facing the street eating ice cream as Miku, Rin and Luka watched them from a booth not far away.

"They seem to be enjoying themselves." Luka whimpered and miserably took a sip of her root beer float.

"I second that." Rin sighed.

"So, want to go to my house this time?" Len said, pulling back the girls' attention.

"Sure!" Kaito replied warmly, and the two pushed back their chairs and stood up.

"Crap!" Miku hissed, and Rin and Luka both tried to stand up at the same time, knocking their heads together and yelping in unison.

"Huh?" Len said, looking straight at his friends, his face blank. "Wha-wha-whaaaa?"

"Oops..." Luka mumbled.

"EEEH?" Len jumped back with shock. "What are you guys doing here?"

"You know them?" Kaito peered down at Len with surprise. "They've been following us since we met up."

"Seriously?" Len cried, whipping around to face Kaito.

"We've been found out." Miku groaned as Luka stood up again, rubbing her head.

The girls filed out of the booth, their heads hanging.

"Sorry Len." Rin muttered, ashamed.

Len put his hands on his hips and pouted with frustration. "How could I have not noticed?"

Kaito shrugged and Luka twirled her hair absentmindedly.

"Oh, whatever." Len shook his head and turned to the door. "We're drawing attention, let's go to the park."

With on last shared glance, the girls followed Len and Kaito out of the store.

* * *

><p>"So... Um..." Len blushed and reluctantly pointed to Kaito. "This is Kaito Shion... My boyfriend."<p>

"Aha! We thought so!" Miku said triumphantly and clapped her hands together.

Len's face now a deep red, he made a 'nnn...' noise and shifted feet. Kaito simply waved with a light smile.

"This is Rin Kagamine, my sister and the drummer." Len pointed to Rin next, his face still pink.

"Yo!" She smirked and waved eagerly, seemingly glad to have gotten to this point.

"Luka Megurine, the keyboardist."

"Nice to meet you..." Luka shyly shook Kaito's hand.

"And Miku Hatsune, the singer and lead guitarist."

"Hey." Miku smirked and nodded in acknowledgement.

"There we are, now you know each other." Len said, then focused his attention an the girls. "Why were you following us?"

"Fine. Because we heard you say on the phone that you were going out with someone, so we wanted to see who it was." Rin twirled her hair and coughed with embarrassment. "There."

"You could have just asked me, you know." Len sighed, his gaze softening. "Anyway, what do we do now?"

"Ooh!" Miku exclaimed, hopping up and down excitedly. "Let's go bowling together!"

"Sounds good to me." Luka shrugged with a smile then turned to Len and Kaito. "Is that okay?"

"Yes, most definitely, I'd like to meet Len's friends." Kaito said before Len could answer.

"Great! Then it's settled!" Rin laughed, the tension now completely gone.

Len sighed, but waved away his mood and promised him that he would enjoy himself.

* * *

><p>All done! Now I can go help my buddeh find psych on my computer...<p>

See you guys next time! I appreciate those of you who have stuck with it this whole time... 3

Review!


	8. Chapter 8 : Anger and Release

Next chapter... UPDATED! I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS ONE! MWAAA HA HA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!

Probably one of my faves... just cuz' of my lovely adoration of Len in pain~

^w^ anyway... VOCALOID is not mine... sadly... PLEASE ENJOY THE NEXT BLOODILY GRUESWUM CHAPPIE! READ AND REVIEW!

* * *

><p>CHAPTER EIGHT<p>

"I'm home!" Len called, his house eerily quiet.

He stepped into the hallway and slipped off his shoes, a horrible feeling rising inside of him. His mother was nowhere to be in sight, but he had not gone over curfew and had been home by 5:30, so he had done nothing wrong. Silently, he put down his bass and school bag in the hallway, just to be safe. He made his way down to the living room across from the kitchen and peered inside. Saya stood facing the doorway, her hands by her side and an empty expression on her face. She looked up when Len entered the room and frowned.

"Mom?" Len said, cautiously walking over to his mother. "What's wrong?"

"Dr. Hayate called." She whispered and stared into Len's eyes. "He told me something very upsetting, Len."

Len's heart beat faster, and he had to suppress the urge to turn and run. Suddenly Saya's hand whipped out and she grabbed the front of Len's shirt, pulling him close to her.

"He told me about you little friends from your club." She hissed, hysteria rising in her voice.

She forced him back a couple of paces into the hallway before throwing him harshly into the kitchen where he fell to the floor with a cry.

"YOU PROMISED THAT YOU WOULD LOVE ONLY ME!" Saya screamed, completely beside herself in rage.

Len backed up completely now, the wall stopping and cornering him. Saya snatched a plate down from the cabinet and threw it across the room, making it break on Len's head. Blood quickly began gathering on the fresh cuts on his face, blood trickling down his cheeks and staining his golden hair crimson.

"YOU BROKE YOUR PROMISE!"

More plates, bowls, glasses, vases, pots and silverware crashed into the wall before Saya picked up a knife from the cutting board. Len's eyes widened and he began to stand, but his legs gave up on him and he slumped back to the ground. Fear grew inside him and all sound was blocked from his senses as his mother drew closer. Finally she stopped in front of her son and grinned, bringing the knife down cleanly.

It cut through the flesh of Len's upraised palm and he screamed the moment he saw the blood dripping down his wrist. She kept slashing while yelling obscenities at him, his blue eyes shut tightly as if he could simply escape into his dreams.

His arms, chest and legs were now completely covered with both deep and shallow cuts, as well as bruises. A few gashes ran along his cheeks and stray pieces of glass were caught in his hair. Saya eventually dropped the knife and grabbed one of Len's slick arms, pulling him up and dragging him across the floor until they reached the bathroom.

"You will always be MINE, Len!" She screamed before flinging him against the shower wall and pulling down the shower head.

The shower head turned up all the way on hot, Saya laughed with dominance as she ignored Len's screams of protest and drenched her son with burning hot water. In a matter of seconds, Len's skin was richly scalded and steam began to clog up the bathroom.

Len lost track of time in the pain, so he wasn't sure if it had been five minutes or an hour before Saya let go of the shower head and the fog cleared away. When she caught sight of her son, half unconcious and covered with blood on the floor, she stumbled back, brought her hands to her face and shrieked. But this time, her scream held only fear, not anger.

She retreated into the hallway before turning on heel and running out of sight, trailing her screams behind her. Len heard her footsteps thunder down the hallway and the front jerk open and slam shut. He was all alone in the house.

Looking around him at the red water swirl down the drain and a vague idea of his situation, he merely sat in a puddle of blood and water, dripping wet... and ignored the calls on his home and cell phones.

* * *

><p>HAHAHAHA CLIFFIE!<p>

...U mad?

:DDD Come back in a bitty bit to see what become of poor little tortured len... 3

...reviews? plz?


	9. Chapter 9 : Cards and Keys

Once again a packed weekend... not to say it wasn't ABSOLUTELY AMAZING FOR UNSAID REASONS!

It's good to be back with cherry (my little red netbook... or my mom's... whichever works for you :P) and on fanfiction again~

VOCLAOID is Crypton's and not mine and I hope you enjoy the next chapter!

* * *

><p>CHAPTER NINE<p>

"Yes?" Miku said, picking up her phone.

She sat on Rin's bed, twiddling with her hair and lazily watching Rin and Luka play cards.

"What?" Miku suddenly exclaimed, sitting up from her lounging position. "What about Len? Wait, I'm putting this on speaker so that Rin and Luka can hear too."

Rin and Luka looked up from their game in surprise as Kaito's urgent voice yelled out of the phone.

"I need your help! Len isn't answering his home phone or his cell, and I heard him screaming from his house when I went to drop off his history book that he left at my house! He's never screamed before, it's always just his her yelling, so I know that he's in real trouble this time!"

"Wait, what do you mean?" Rin said, standing up and getting closer to Miku's phone.

"I mean, this time he's really hurt! She even went through the effort to lock all the windows so that she couldn't be disturbed, so I can't get in that way! Please, come here quick! I know you have an extra key, Rin, Len told me so!"

"Yeah, I have the key with me, we'll be there soon." Rin nodded seriously, but couldn't hide the panic in her voice.

Miku snapped her phone shut and shoved it into her pocket before standing up and looking straight at Rin.

"We're following you."

* * *

><p>Rin, Miku and Luka ran up to Len's house five minutes later to see a distressed Kaito pacing back and forth in front of the gates.<p>

"Thank god you're here." Kaito said, fear flashing on his face.

"I've got the key, tell me what's going on." Rin gasped, completely out of breath from the run there.

"There's not enough time, go!" Kaito pushed Rin in front of him and she nodded quickly before she ran through the gates and to the door.

She fumbled with the keys for a few moments before she managed to jam the teeth inside of the hole, a small click audible as she turned the key. The door immediately swung open to the darkness of the foyer, the back of the hallway blanketed by shadows.

"LEN!" Rin called and stepped over the threshold, ignoring Miku's yelp as she tripped over Len's bass and ran into the kitchen. "Oh my gosh."

She put her hands over her mouth and looked up at Luka and Miku with wide eyes when they came close. The far wall was splattered with blood and glass, and the carpet was stained red. Kaito came up from behind and paled, quickly regaining his posture with a shuddering breath. Rin and Miku's eyes were stuck on the gore, but Luka turned away just in time to see the fear flashing in the bluenette's eyes.

"He's not in there." Kaito said firmly and walked past the girls down the hallway.

He walked along a trail of blood, the girls tearing their eyes away from the scene in the kitchen and following afterward. Luka stumbled over her feet and grabbed onto Miku's arm for support, not letting go even after her balance was retained. The taller vocalist's eyes met with the pianist's and teal melted into aqua for a split second until they both glanced away for fear of revealing their own helplessness.

They eventually made it to the open door at the end of the hallway across from Len's room and halted. Kaito took one long look into the bathroom, just light enough to see, before shaking his head and turning to look at Rin in horror.

"It's Len." He breathed and disappeared into the bathroom.

* * *

><p>Oh no... what happened? O.o<p>

Next chapter will reveal everything... XDD

Read and Review! I love all of you readers!


	10. Chapter 10 : White and Red

I'M BAAAAACK! And all ready to roooooll~

Next chappie? Are you ready?

VOCALOID isn't mine, I only own the little OCs I mixed in...

I hope you enjoy reading about Len's pain ad much as I loved writing it :D

* * *

><p>CHAPTER TEN<p>

Rin, Luka and Miku ran up to the bathroom doorway behind Kaito and screamed when they looked down at Len.

He was now lying in a puddle of blood, his eyes closed and his breathing ragged. The expression on his face was one of pain and his hands were lying slackly at his side, as if it were too much effort to even try to stop the blood flow. His burns and gashes stood out against his once pale skin, and his clothes were cut up and soaked with red water.

"Len..." Katio murmured, leaning down and looking over his lover.

Rin, Miku and Luka stood paralyzed at the door and flinched when Len coughed from the floor. His eyes fluttered open, revealing unfocused eyes. With a sorrowful whimper that made Katio's heart skip a beat, Len drew his arms up to his chest and curled in on himself. After taking a shuddering breath, he coughed and squeezed his eyes shut once again. Kaito gasped and gently stroked Len's cheek, relief mixing with the tears now builing in his eyes.

"Don't move!" He cried in response to Len's pitiful efforts, then turned back to Rin and ordered firmly, "We need to patch him up, now."

All three girls gaped for a few more seconds before they nodded weakly and stepped back from the doorway. Without wasting a single second, Kaito picked up Len carefully from the floor (making Len squeak in pain) and carried him across the hallway into his room. Rin, Miku and Luka hurriedly trailed in behind him, watching the wet, shivering form in Kaito's arms the whole time.

Softly Kaito set his baggage down on the bed and propped him up on the wall. Len let out a soft wail at the new, agonizing postion and opened his eyes to Kaito, parting his lips to speak before another flash of pain jolted through his body, bringing them back together in a grimace. Finally noticing his three other friends in the room, Len gasped and his eyes widened with fear and shock. He looked up at Kaito through wet bangs and shook his head.

"Kai-" Len managed to get out, but then cringed and stopped.

"Don't you dare even try to talk." Kaito scolded shakily and pointed at Rin. "The kit is in the bookshelf."

As Rin turned flusteredly to get down the box, Luka spoke up for the first time.

"I'll call the hospital," she gulped, pulling out her cell phone from her back pocket.

Len's head snapped up and he reached out and tried to grab Luka's hand before a cough interrupted him and he recoiled. Luka looked down at Len in surprise as he shook his head.

"Don't... call..." He gasped, his voice barely eligible.

"What's wrong?" Miku whispered. "What happened?"

Kaito looked uneasily at Len when he tried again to speak.

"If you call... they'll take her away..." He mewled and clutched his side. "It's not... her fault..."

"Who- ...who did this to you?" Rin asked him softly when she returned to Kaito with the first-aid kit.

"She was angry... and she lost it..." Len looked up at Rin with a conflicted expression. "Don't hate her..."

"No way..." Rin said, realization spreading through her eyes as she pieced it all together. "Mom?"

Len nodded slightly, making the girls' eyes widen and Kaito glare at Rin. After muttering something under his breath, he began to unbutton Len's shirt. Somehow he managed to peel off the fabric, revealing the ragged flesh and scars from times before. Luka made a squeak, and Miku simply turned away, her face in her hands.

Rin's eyes watered and she dropped the kit on the bed beside Kaito. "Oh, Len..."

"Can you get me a towel?" Kaito said, turning to Miku as he popped open the box.

She nodded quickly and hurried out of the room, leaving Luka alone to shiver against the wall. Kaito turned back to Len and gazed into his eyes as if searching for an answer.

"What happened? She's never even threatened to use a knife." He whispered.

Len blinked, looked up at Rin and Luka, and sighed. "Hayate... he told her about the music club."

"Oh." Kaito dropped his gaze and pulled out a pair of tweezers.

"What?" Rin said, her eyebrows pulling together. "Why is that so bad?"

"Because-" Len began, breaking off with a gasp as Kaito pulled a piece of glass from a wound on his chest. "Because she thinks that... she's the only one I should ever have a connection with... I caught her- (cringe)- in a good mood when she met Kaito, so she was reasonable... (cough and a sharp breath) She must have been overwhelmed when Hayate told her... that I had a whole group of friends that I spent lots of time with... and she snapped."

Miku entered the room and passed the towels to Kaito silently, two trails of tears on her face. Luka latched onto her arm again as soon as she was in touching distance. Kaito took the towels and began to pat down Len's body, clearing away the blood and making the burns more obvious.

"Burns? That's new. I'm guessing that's the reason for the water." Kaito sighed and turned to Rin, handing her band-aids. "Take off any old bandages and patch up his hands."

She nodded and picked up Len's right hand, eyeing the bandage around his wrist that she had seen before. Gently she undid the now red, soggy cloth and unwrapped his wrist. The cloth fell to the bed and Len grimaced. Rin's mouth dropped when she saw old scars of cuts zig-zagging up the inside of his wrist up to his elbow.

"What...?" Rin began, her voice shaking. "Len!"

Len groaned to himself and dropped his head back. "...Yes?"

"What is this?" She yelled with a harsh glare.

Luka let go of Miku and kneeled down next to the bedside, her eyes widening when she saw the scars.

"Len!" She exclaimed. "Explain!"

"They're old." He said shortly, still not meeting their eyes.

"So?" Rin cried and forced Len to look back into her gaze. "What the heck, Len?"

"Well, now you know why I really have a psychaitrist." Len sighed and turned away again from the accusing glares.

"Len..." Miku whispered, having joined them. "That's why...?"

"I'm not going to be able to wrap him up with you three staring at old scars like that!" Kaito broke in with an annoyed 'tsk'.

He had already wrapped up Len's midsection and Left arm, and was waiting to do his right. Upon noticing this, Rin dropped Len's arm and rubbed her teary eyes.

"Where's mom?" She asked, dropping the subject. "Won't us being here make it worse for you?"

"Oh no! That's right!" Luka wailed and whipped around to look at the doorway.

"It's fine." Len said calmly, waving her off. "She ran out the door sreaming the moment she came to her senses and realized what she'd done... She won't be back until dinner time... she never is..."

Len yawned painfully and his eyelids dropped, his head sagging. Kaito smiled lightly and rubbed his boyfriend's head.

"I'm all done, you can sleep now." He murmured, gently kissing Len's bandaged cheek before laying him down and pulling the sheet over him.

Len was sound asleep only seconds later. Kaito raised a finger to his lips then stood up and beckoned the three girls out into the hallway. They all made their way slowly over to the kitchen in silence, trying to wrap their minds around what they had just discovered.

"Sit." Kaito said, motioning over the broken glass and blood to the dinner table. "I'll try my best to explain."

* * *

><p>:3 ... is all I have to say...<p>

Review plz, it sings with mai little gray brain cells just as well at Starbucks does... which i could really use right now...

SEE YOU NEXT CHAPPEEEEH!


	11. Chapter 11 : Explanations and Tears

sorry my update took so long... combination of band, tests and homework kept me busy...

Well, here it is. chappie 11 uploaded on November 12 2011. would've been cooler if it had been yesterday... at 11:11... but, oh well.

Enjoy :P

* * *

><p>CHAPTER ELEVEN<p>

They sat down at the round table, the girls all focusing their attention on Kaito. He took a deep breath and rubbed his hands together wearily.

"So." He began, leaning forward and resting his arms on the edge of the table. "This might take a while, and there are some things that I will will leave out because it is something that you have to hear from Len himself, but please try to listen to the end. Len told me that it all started when he was around six. At first it was just Saya getting irritable and snapping at him over every mistake, but then it began to rise into her slapping or shoving when you-" he pointed to Rin. "And your father weren't looking. After a while she began ranting and screaming when it was only them in the house. Saya was very sloppy at first, because Rin had seen one of her fits when she thought that Rin was out. After that, she never made any mistakes and covered everything up. For about four years, Len had always gotten away with just little scratches and bruises, but then Len's parents had a divorce. By default, Len went off to live with Saya. Just the two of them, alone all the time; Saya no longer had any reason to hold back.

"Whenever she had fits, her voice of reason was mute; making them more dangerous to Len. Saya had been going to see her own psychaitrist for quite some time after the divorce, and they had finally discovered her personality disorder. She has a sort of split personality, but more complitcated than just the norm. When she is angry, annoyed, or even slightly frustrated, she flips out and loses control. Most of the time, though, she is sweet and caring, without anything to worry about in the world. But it's getting worse. She's starting to have even more severe fits and her two personalities are becoming more defined. Around this time is where I met Len; we met at the hospital I worked at for a while and we exchanged phone numbers and began to hang out alot, in a matter of months we were best friends.

"Right when Len entered middle school, Saya's doctors labeled her as 'unstable' and forbid her to go out alone, drive, and drink. By then, they had also realized how much of a threat she was to Len, and went ahead and stuck him with a psychaitrist too. Hayate, Len's psychaitrist, is evil. I know, I know, psychaitrists are supposed to help, right? No. This guy is seriously demented. He didn't help Len at all even when he went into a deep state of depression. Of course, Len told me everything about his mother in order to explain why he had Hayate. I'm going to go ahead and skip this to save for Len, but basically Len got depressed, did something he shouldn't have, got caught up in a little something that we're still stuck on, and began to cut himself instead. A while later, his cut wounds were found by Hayate (I punched Len in the face when he wouldn't tell me why he was doing it) and he was put in a 2 week isolation cell on strict surveillance. Len told me that it was hell, he was on withdrawl from pain. Anyway, so when he got home he was no longer allowed to go outisde on his own and his house was a complete wreck. Practically everything was broken and Saya was a sobbing mess. They late came to the conclusion that by inflicting pain on her son, she let out all of her contained energy; when Len was gone she had no outlet."

"So Len is his mother's stress relief." Miku said flatly. Not a question.

"If you want to put it that way, then yes. Anyway, around two months later, something else big happened that I can't tell you. Basically, Len repeated a stupid mistake,-" he rolled his eyes. "- I found out why he was cutting himself, and we started going out."

Rin and Miku raised their eyebrows, while Luka just pouted.

"Everything was resolved, and Len found friends in high school- you."

Luka sighed and rested her chin on her hands. "Why doesn't he just tell the police? How can he live with his own mother hating him?"

"Because he loves her." Kaito said sincerely, their eyes locked. "He can't stand the thought of life without her, and who knows what the police will do to her if they found out what she's done to him... Len can't let that happen. Until things get sorted out, just leave it be. Len's content as things are, I know that from experience."

Luka frowned and then turned to the doorway of the kitchen, perking up. "Len?"

"Um..." Len began, edging slowly around the door and into the kitchen, using the wall as support.

"Len!" Kaito cried, standing up and knocking over the chair he was sitting in. "What are you doing, walking around!"

"Mom will be home soon, so you might want to hide."

Kaito whipped around to the window and gasped. "Crap, I lost track of time!"

"Is she there?" Rin stuttered, also standing up; Miku and Luka followed suit not soon afterwards.

"She's already almost at the front door!" Kaito cussed and grabbed Rin's hand, dragging her behind him along the hallway as he ran. "Hurry! Get into Len's room and stay there!"

Len's bedroom door slammed shut behind everyone, leaving Len alone in the hallway when the front step creaked and Saya wrenched open the door with a huge clang. She stood in the doorway with a look of distress framing her face.

"Len!" she cried, running over and pulling her shaky yet bewildered son into a gentle hug. "I'm so sorry for what she did to you, I wasn't able to protect you and this happened!"

"Mom?" Len ignored the fresh pains all over his body and stared at Saya with a mixture of horror and realization. "What are you...?"

"Please, just sleep and get better." She said firmly, pulling away and leading Len down the hallway to his room. "I want you to rest up before that woman comes back. I'm going to take a shower then I'll make you soup."

With that, Saya flung open Len's bedroom door and ran down the hallway to her own room. Len leaned heavily against the doorway, perplexed. Miku, Luka, Rin and Kaito all hid in a corner of Len's room by the bed, staring at Len with surprise.

"What was...?" Kaito raised an eyebrow questioningly as Len pushed himself up from the doorframe.

Len just stared at his mother's closed door for a few seconds before he stepped clumsily into his room.

"S-she-" Len raised a trembling hand to his mouth, his eyes wide. "It's gotten-"

He choked off, shook his head and fell to the floor, his legs folded underneath him. Len covered his ears with his hands, his head bent towards the floor. Kaito ran forward from the corner to Len, leaving the three girls frozen. Gently Kaito held Len's face and moved Len's hands away.

"What's wrong?" Kaito whispered, not noticing when Rin, Miku and Luka all came over slowly to peer over at Len.

Rin's eyes widened as she saw the tears running down Len's scared face.

"She called herself 'she'!" Len wailed, burying himself in Kaito's chest. "She's gotten even worse!"

Kaito wrapped his arms around Len, shivering from fear, pain and suppressed sobs, and turned to look at Rin with a silent plea of dismay.

"Len..." Rin reached out and softly stroked her brother's hair, trying to maintain her shock. "What are you...?"

"She never went so far as to deny that it was her..." Len's voice was thick with tears, and blood was slowly seeping through the bandages on his side, where a large gash lay hidden.

Over Len's choked sobs, the sounds of running water could be heard from several rooms over. Miku and Luka looked at each other for a moment, a disturbed understanding passing between them.

* * *

><p>Hope you liked it... :)<p>

Feeling a bit tired so I'm going to watch sum psych 3

Review if you liked it~ I'll be back soon enough.


	12. Chapter 12 : Ribbon and Soup

Once again... sorry for the late update :'

I tried my best to keep up but... science gave a SHITLOAD to do last night.

Anyway, is it just me or do these chapters keep on getting longer? This one has the most words by far...

Disclaimer~ same as always.

Enjoy 3

* * *

><p>CHAPTER TWELVE<p>

Half an hour later, Len lay asleep in his bed, tears still caught on his eyelashes. Kaito gazed peacefully out Len's open window, humming an unknown tune. Miku and Luka had gone back to their homes the moment that they realized that there was nothing more for them to do there, and that it had become a family problem. They exited without a word, solemn expressions on their pale faces and exhaustion clearly outlined in their posture.

"I never thought that anything this serious was going on in my own brother's life." Rin whispered, blankly looking through Len's photo album.

It was nicely made, with stickers, ribbons, labels and perfect moment pictures. Rin flipped the page and tears filled her eyes. Both of the pages were decorated completely with yellow. Sunflowers, bananas and lemons outlined all of the pictures of Len and Rin, all of them from before the divorce. One of them was Len and Rin as toddlers, blue eyes and blonde hair identical. Another was them as they went off to their first day of preschool, Len's bangs flopping down over his teary eyes, and Rin's hair pulled up into cute pigtails to match her happy expression. She flipped the page of child pictures and her eyes widened.

Family pictures. Ripped.

The same yellow pattern remained, but purple and orange had been added to the ribbon. Most of the pictures had been torn apart and taped carefully back together, all of them with familiar faces; Rin, Len, Saya and their father, Keiichiro. Rin smiled with memory as she ran her finger along the repaired edges on a picture of their family cooking. Saya was stirring a bowl of something, flour covering her shirt and skirt. Keiichiro held a pan and a spray bottle of PAM and had pieces of eggshell in his hair. In between them was Len, licking a spatula and wearing a yellow plaid apron with lace, his arms were covered in icing and sprinkles. Rin's face just bearly appeared, her being the one who took the picture; she had icing on her as well, except on her cheeks and bangs. Every one of them was smiling. A few of the pictures had little, round wrinkled smudges on them. Rin stared at them for a while, then her mouth dropped slightly when she realized that they wear tear drops.

She shook her head and flipped to the next page, yellow and purple without the orange, but this time with pictures only of Len and Saya. There were no pictures with her father on that page. The next page. These pages were yellow and blue, dedicated to Len and Kaito. Little notes had been scribbled on the sides, like 'first date', 'Halloween', 'sleepover', and 'Christmas'. In most of them, Len was either pouting or blushing with delight. Kaito always had a look of careless bliss in his eyes and smile.

As she pulled on the corner of the pae and turned it, Rin gasped with joy and surprise; the pages were leaping with color, yellow, pink, blue, purple and green swirled all over the paper. Pictures of many kinds made a collage in the book. School pictures, drawings, photo booth strips and just normal photos, all of Rin, Len, Miku and Luka. There were pictures of them in their school uniforms, costumes, party clothes, formal clothing, and even bathing suits. In some they were playing their instruments, other they were fooling around at shops and karaoke boxes. No matter what the fashion, place or reason, they never failed to smile as if it were the last day on Earth.

"Rin!"

She snapped her head up from the album in surprise, Saya stood in the doorway of Len's room.

"What are you doing here?" Saya asked, surprise etched into her face.

"Mom!" Rin said and stood up from Len's computer chair, staring at the tray of soup in Saya's hands. "Oh, for Len? I'll help."

'Be nice to her, it's not her fault,' Len told Rin before he fell asleep just minutes before. Rin was going to make sure that she did at least that much for her brother.

"Oh, Saya!" Kaito grinned and turned from the window. "What's up?"

"Kaito, too?" Saya put down the tray on Len's bedside table and smiled back at Kaito. "Sorry that you had to come and visit on such a day, she was really harsh this time."

"What?" Rin blinked, then shook her head. "Oh, yes. What went wrong?"

"She just overreacted, that's all. All that we have left is Len, so hearing that he's been staying afterschool for people that he has close relationships with was kind of hard for us to get over but..." Saya's gaze dropped and softened. "After I thought about it for a while... it's good that he has friends."

She laughed lightly and sat down on Len's bed.

"I'm very grateful to you, Kaito."

"Hmm?" Kaito raised his eyebrows and sat on the other end of the bed.

"You really accept Len for who he is, and you know how much I loved you as a son and as Len's friend." Saya smiled and patted Kaito's hand. "Now that your relationship is this close, I can finally see how important Len's friends are to him. When I first heard of you before THAT incident happened, I was devasted. I'm glad that I realized how much Len loved you." she turned to Rin. "The fact that you're in this club must mean that it's not bad, right?"

"Yes." Rin laughed warmly and moved over to hug her mother. "It's a good club. We write music, you see. We're a band. We have made three songs so far, and we will have a concert soon."

Saya gasped and put her hands to her mouth. "A concert? When? I want to see!"

Rin shared a glance with Kaito before they both burst out laughing.

"Next Friday at our school's summer end of school festival." Rin grinned, her excitement and happiness in Saya's easy acception growing. "It'll be our first live! Len even says that he's writing a song for it. We're all really pumped, and I'm sure that it'll be amazing!"

"EEEEEEE!" Saya squealed with delight and clapped her hands together. "I can't wait to see!"

Kaito smiled, having almost forgotten what Saya's real personality was like.

"In that case, we have to get Len better before then, this is the first I've heard of this concert." He smirked and tapped Rin's nose. "I'm DEFINITELY coming to this."

Content, Rin giggled and span around in the computer chair with a shriek of energy.

"Nnnn..." Len rolled over in his sleep and sighed before half mumbling half whining "Kaiitooo... meeeeeeh..."

They all fell silent and stared at Len wrapped up in his blanket for a couple of seconds before bursting into badly contained laughter. Things got worse from there as they tried hard not to let their laughs out. Saya snorted and Rin and Kaito clenched their stomaches even harder, eventually making Rin fall off of the chair in a fit of giggles. As if a charm was broken, the three let out their laughter all at once, filling up the room with noise. Tears streaming down her face, Rin lay on the floor and tried to desperately sit up through her hysterical giggles.

"Meh?" Rin choked, rubbing her side from the fall. "HAHAHAHA! REALLY?"

"Kaito! He actually said 'Kaito'!" Saya tried rubbing her cheeks to keep from laughing, but failed epically.

"OH MY GOD HE'S GOING TO MURDER US ALL WHEN HE HEARS THIS!" Kaito roared with laughter, rocking back and forth while holding his sides.

"Nnn?" Len pushed himself up and rubbed his eyes. "Wha?"

They all looked at a drowsy Len, awoken from the noise, and cracked up once again. Kaito patted one of Len's legs and shook his head, unable to speak. Rin came up to the bed on her knees and hit the mattress while giggling. Saya was the first to stop, hiccupping and smiling with amusement.

"What?" Len looked back and forth between the three in confusion. "What did I miss?"

Kaito grinned slyly at Len and Rin tried not to make eye contact with him.

"Oh god." Len put a hand up to his mouth. "What did I DO?"

"You spoke in your sleep, about a far off land where unicorns live happily with all the elves." Kaito smirked, making Rin giggle again.

"You-you said 'Kaito' and 'meh'!" Rin laughed and glanced up at her brother.

Len blushed and looked at Kaito before squealing and hiding under his covers. Saya laughed and rubbed Len's shoulder lightly. Kaito poked Len and winked at Rin.

"Oh, come on, eat some soup Len." Rin crooned as she poked Len as well until the he finally peered out from under the blanket.

"Fine." Len mumbled and reluctantly sat up.

"Good boy." Kaito teased and patted his blonde head. "You are too cute."

Len pouted and blushed again, then turned to Saya and gave her a hug.

"Helloooo!" Len sang happily, his voice wobbly with sleep.

"Hey, Len." Saya smiled and hugged her son back.

Len grinned and sat back down, letting Saya pass his the warm soup.

"Thanks, mom." Len closed his eyes for a few seconds on an incomplete thought then laughed warmly.

* * *

><p>Read and review... it makes me feel warm and squishy inside :3<p> 


	13. Chapter 13 : Mondays and Plays

I'm back again, with another late update U-w-

I dont own VOCALOID.

* * *

><p>CHAPTER THIRTEEN<p>

"Uuugh Monday..." Miku groaned, stretched out on the couch in the music room.

"Almost time for our concert." Len looked out the window dreamily and yawned. "The new song is nearly finished."

Rin and Luka were setting the table for morning tea and Len was sitting on the couch next to Miku. He had band-aids on his cheeks and arms, and his torso was wrapped up with white cloth. The wounds were still healing, but they would be good enough to perform with by the festival on Friday.

"I can't wait to see what our class is going to do for the festival." Luka said with a smile and set down the tea filled pot on the table.

"Everybody in our class wants to do a play." Len sighed unhappily. "I hope I'll get to be a tree."

Miku laughed and looked up at Len. "But you did so well in that play during middle school, everybody remembers what a good wizard you were."

"The only reason anybody ever remembered that play is because we all had to improvise around Kio tripping and pulling down the moon."

Luka giggled and tapped Len on the shoulder as she passed by the couch.

"Tea's ready, guys." she pointed at the table where Rin was aready sitting.

"Thanks." Len stood up and strode over to the table where he sat and sipped his tea delicately.

Miku followed in suit not long afterwards, stretching as a yawn split her mouth into a large 'O'.

"Maybe we'll be able to do a cafe, I'd like that." Miku said, taking a bite of her bear claw after she rubbed the sleep from her eyes. "A haunted house is too much work."

"Scary!" Luka whimpered. "I really hope we don't do anything weird, just a small shop or something would be fine with me."

"All that I want is something that I don't have to particapate in." Len laughed.

"BEEEEEEEEEEEEP!"

They all sighed and stood up, steeling themselves for their classes that awaited them.

"Ugh..." Len moaned and waved sadly to his friends. "I'll let you know in what we're doing during practice and I'll give you guys your music after I've finished writing in the lyrics during class."

"Bye, Len." Rin gave her brother a *super gentle* hug and ran off into her classroom behind Luka and Miku.

Len smiled lightly and stepped into the classroom, the early morning noises filling his already aching head. He sat down tenderly in his desk and clipped his school bag to his chair. Without Len noticing, Kio slowly crept up from behind and shoved Len's shoulders.

"BOO!" He exclaimed, and excited smile on his face.

"Eeiiii..." Len whimpered and glared up at his friend, trembling with shock.

"Whats up- ah!" Kio kneeled down and peered at Len's face and hands. "What happened?"

"Nothing much, it's all over now." Len laughed and set his chin on his fist.

Kio raised an eyebrow and shrugged, but didn't pry.

"Oh well, it's your call. Anyway, what do you think about the festival? It's the last week of school, man!" Kio punched Len on the shoulder (making Len's eyes water) and grinned. "I want to do a play, and-"

"Everyone sit down!" Their teacher clapped her hands together and motioned to the board. "Today we begin our preperations for the school festival on Friday, the last day of school."

She picked up a box and set it down on a girl in the front row's desk.

"Please put any suggestions in here."

In a sudden rush, everyone pulled out sheets of notebook paper and began to write. Len sighed and watched the others without writing anything of his own. Eventually people began to stand up and put their slips of paper in the small box. Two minutes later, the room was still.

"Is that it?" Mrs. Riza asked, looking around at her silent students. "Well then, I will write the choices on the board and then I will have everyone vote. If something has more than one vote in this box, it will be considered."

She began to write a small list of possibilities on the board in chalk while classmates whispered to one another.

"Okay, take your votes!"

Len reluctantly pulled out a piece of paper and wrote 'cafe'. They passed around the box and Len slipped his vote in silently. Once the box had been passed around, Mrs. Riza began to number off the number of votes on the board. When she was down there were many cheers. Len stayed silent, but sighed internally at the outcome.

"As you can see, we will be doing a play." Mrs. Riza announced with a smile and put aside her chalk. "Any suggestions on which play we should do?"

"Mrs. Riza!" Sachiko stood up and waved her arm frantically. "I say Alice in Wonderland!"

Many students looked at each other and nodded with a sly smile of approval. 'I don't care, just don't make me do anything, please!' Len thought desperately, his headache getting worse by the second.

"Does everyone agree?" The teacher asked with a smile. When the majority nodded, she began to write the parts on the board. "We will have Alice, the Mad Hatter, the rabbit, the Hare, the doormouse, the Queen of Hearts, the King, and the Chesire cat be the voting roles, the rest of the cards and additional characters will be decided later."

Sachiko giggled and whispered something to the person in front of her, recieving a small laugh and a high five.

"Okay, I'll pass around the box again for Alice, put in the name you want to play the role." Mrs. Riza set the box down again and sat at her desk. "I will calculate the votes and tell you the roles after every part has been voted for."

It continued like that for a while, the box passing while people laughed and whispered to one another. Len wrote down random names and passed on the box without much thought. When all the votes were finished, Len set his head down in his arms and waited for Mrs. Riza to count up the votes. Fifteen minutes later, she cleared her throat and stood up, a small smile on her face. Everyone perked up and Len picked his head wearily from his desk.

"The chesire cat is going to be Yokune Sawa." she began, reading off the list backwards.

A girl in the back with reddish brown hair smiled impishly and gave her friend a fist bump.

"The King is Jun Tadashii, The Queen is Iroha Hanazono, the doormouse is Kaya Akito, the Hare is Kyosuke Sakamoto, the rabbit is Sachiko Hinamoru, the Mad Hatter is Maitake Heiwajima and Alice is..."

Mrs. Riza laughed, coughed, then smiled and glanced down at her paper once more.

...

"Len Kagamine."

* * *

><p>Trololol looking forward to Len's Alice?<p>

Dont worry, i'll make him as shotaliciously smexy as possiblee 3

The purple monster in my closet will eat your babies if you do not review...


	14. Chapter 14 : Alice and Music

Once again... a long update and a short chapter T_T

I am ashamed of myself... and all i have to say is that thanksgiving. is. too. time. consuming.

There. I'm satisfied.

at any rate, im hoping that the sudden will to write the rest of this goddamn fanfiction will appear on my doorstep (or just my porch) and i will be done and OVER with the filler.

and then i can start on the good stuff (or the Len whumpage, or Len torture, or Len kidnapping, or Len humiliation, whichever you prefer and more)

I dont own VOCALOID and neither do you.

Sob.

* * *

><p>CHAPTER FOURTEEN<p>

"Eh?" Len's eyes widened and laughter burst out from Kio and Sachiko. "Wha?"

"It was practically unanimous." Mrs. Riza chuckled, her hand covering her mouth. "Sorry, Len, but you seemed to be the obvious choice to all of us."

"EEH!" Len sat up and stared up at his teacher with disbelief.

"Moving on," She giggled and set down the clipboard of roles. "We will have Kasane Teto make the costumes, so make sure that you stay after school. The rest of you, figure who will play the rest of the parts. Kio is in charge of organizing, and Lulu will do the script. Get to work!"

Everyone stood up at once, and Kio ran up to Len almost immediately, Sachiko not far behind. Len sat, fazed, in his desk; completely silent with his jaw dropped.

"This is going to be great, our Len as Alice!" Sachiko crooned, rubbing Len on the head.

"Eeeh..." Len looked up at Sachiko and his face slowly began to form his worries. "Nooo!"

"C'mon, it'll be okay." Kio smirked and pulled Len up from his chair.

Len shook his head desperately and turned back and forth between his two friends.

"No, no no no no! This is insane! I have to practice for our concert, I don't have enough time to memorize lines!"

"Don't worry." Lulu came up from behind Len and laid a hand on his shoulder. "I'll make sure that you have enough time to practice during class, we're all prepared to work hard so that you can have a perfect performance in both the play AND you club."

"But..." Len said, still worried. "Being Alice is just too..."

Lulu laughed and put her hands on her hips. "Don't think that this wasn't planned from the first place. We've all been looking forward to your Alice, Len. I'll work hard on the script, I promise. I'm already almost done. For now just help with the organizing and relax."

Len nodded miserably, finally giving in. Lulu grinned with success and patted Len's shoulder before skipping off to work on the script. Kio grabbed Len's hand and dragged him over to the main group.

"Let's go, they're waiting!"

* * *

><p>"So, what happened?" Miku said, her, Rin, and Luka all looking up from their tea as Len slouched into the classroom.<p>

Len groaned and silently slid across the music room before plopping down in a chair and smacking his head down on the table.

"Huh? That bad?" Rin poked her brother from across the table. "What happened?"

"Don't laugh." Len said miserably, peering up at his friends and sighing. "We're doing Alice in Wonderland."

"Ooh! Cool, we're just doing a cafe." Luka clapped her hands together happily. "Why shouldn't we laugh?"

Rin, Miku, and Luka all stared at Len as he drew out a long sigh and shook his head.

"Len... what part are you doing? Not the King, that would be just weird." Miku giggled, then paused and looked down at Len. "Hey, what part?"

He groaned then answered reluctantly.

"I'm Alice."

First was small contained giggles, but after looking at Len's pathetic state, the three girls burst out laughing. Miku slapped her hand on the table and pointed at Len.

"Seriously?" Miku said between giggles. "You? Alice? How?"

"I told you not to laugh!" Len slapped his hands on the table and blushed. "It was all planned, so the votes were all practically unanimous."

They laughed harder, so it took about two minutes before any of them could speak.

"What are you going to have to wear?" Luka asked, her being the first one to calm down and take things seriously.

"I dunno, they said that Teto is going to make they costumes." Len sighed and rested his head back down. "The script will be done tommorrow, so that's all I need to focus on. Wednesday will be the 'trying on of the costumes', I already got my measurements done. Thursday we will practice like crap, then Friday we will have a couple of dress rehearsals in the theater and touch everything up."

"Poor you, your schedule as a cute little girl sounds hard." Rin crooned and rested her chin on her fist, looking down at her brother with pity.

Len glared at her and put a hand up to his forehead. "I've had a killer head ache all day, and everybody keeps going on about how 'cute' I'll be. I hate it when people call me cute... Kaito is the only exception. Anyway, what happened in your class?"

"Nothing much." Miku said. "We're doing a maid cafe, all of our costumes are going to be ordered online. All that we have to do is decorate our classroom with ribbon."

"Lucky..." Len grimaced and pressed his hand against his head harder. "Kaito will see me as a girl... I'm going to die..."

Miku giggled and turned away, her hands over her mouth. Len glared at her and buried his head in his arms once again.

"Don't worry." Luka said with a smile. "I'm sure you'll be a good Alice."

"... Thanks."

"Hey! The music!" Miku burst out, slapping her hand against the desks. "Is it ready yet?"

"Oh!" Len sat up straighter with a nervous smile and pulled five sheets of music out from his bag.

On for the drums, one for the bass, one for the piano, one for the guitar and another for the lyrics. Len gently passed them out to each member and waited as they scanned over the notes and key signatures.

A shocked expression slowly emerged on each of the girl's faces and they wordlessly looked up into Len's anxious eyes. Rin's eyebrows merged in disbelief and she parted her lips to say the most unexpected thing possible to Len at that moment...

"What the fuck kind of happy drug did you take in order to make somthing as catchy as this?"

* * *

><p>Can anyone guess the song that Len wrote?<p>

It does not belong to me.

Could you see that coming? I could.

Whoever can guess the name of the song gets cookies :P

REVIEW AND COME BACK BECAUSE I LOVE YOU!


	15. Chapter 15 : Lines and Surprises

YAAAAAAAAAAAY new chappie :DD

And... TWO PEOPLE HAVE GUESSED THE SONG RIGHT SO FAR! (not saying who b/c it would give it away, but IT WILL BE REVEALED!)

_thank-you_ Mantinas, Nayomi-Kiiroibara, kitty tokyo uzumaki, A Random Passerby, fujiwarakoharu, MoriandMeForever, xXInkstainedHeartXx, obsessionist97, Raining Skittles, ChocoCookiePuff, RaDiaNTFreezez, lovinglolipop402, PridexWretchedluver4ever, Kokosaysno, CJSakura, Derp, Leo Lovely, Flame Winged Angel, AnimexxLover1827 and Yuki Kiku for **REVIEWING!**

* * *

><p>CHAPTER FIFTEEN<p>

With a huge yawn, Len stretched his arms as he walked into his classroom the next morning. Lulu sat across the room, talking with Maitake. He was very handsome, tall with black hair and deep set blue eyes. At first everyone took to him as an 'idol', but once they all realized what a player he was, the girls stopped confessing and the guys stopped trying to get him in their clubs. But in Len's opinion, he wasn't as much of a 'player' as he was a 'quiet flirt'. He was nice at nature, but was smooth at talking and seducing.

Len frowned and walked over to where they sat.

"Seriously, though?" Maitake said, his voice slick and calm. A smile cut across his face as he chuckled pervertedly. "I'm completely fine with it, but he won't be."

Lulu shrugged and looked up at Len when he came close. "Len! Speak of the devil."

"How's the script going?" Len asked, setting down his bag on his desk and leaning against the wall.

"All done!" Lulu clapped her hands together happily and handed Len and thick packet titled 'Alice in Dreamland'. "Here, this is your part. Look it over before class begins."

"Thanks..." Len said skeptically, taking the packet and sitting in his chair.

He flipped it open to the first page and began to read. The plot was basic, Alice was a rebelious girl who loved her family, but didn't agree to their style of life. She wanted out. After having a fight with her sister in the garden of their mansion, Alice wished that something more exciting would happen in her life.

As if on que, the White Rabbit hops from the bushes and runs across the stage, saying 'I'm going to be late for the Queen's ball!' Alice follows the rabbit out of boredom and goes into a large hole in a tree after her. She appears from a black, dead tree a few minutes later to a very disturbing world with withered shrubs and murky waters.

She wanders down a path for a while until she comes upon the Chesire cat, who speaks to her about the Queen's ball. Anyone who does not make it in time shall be gathered up by the cards and have their heads cut off. Alice is appalled, but follows the Chesire cat into the forest road to the castle anyway.

While there, Alice gets split up from the Chesire cat and wanders through the swamp until she comes across a small, vintage house. She enters the graden and sees a long table where the Mad Hatter, the Hare and the Doormouse all sit playing poker. The Hatter invites Alice to play, and falls in love with her denial. He tricks her into a game she has no choice but to lose and brings her to the ball as her partner. They go together and Alice enjoys herself with the White Rabbit and Chesire cat, but begins to feel drowsy.

She takes a rest in one of the guest rooms, and runs into the Queen on her way out. The Queen turns out to be very sweet and gentle, and helps Alice to the nurse where she bandages her knees. Alice finds out not only that the King and the Queen are being threatened by the old Queen into making Dreamland a horrible place, but also that Alice herself, as an outsider, will soon either die or be corrupted by Dreamland unless she leaves soon.

Alice runs back and tells the Chesire cat and the White Rabbit this and they agree that she has to escape. They run from the castle to the gates where Alice can get home, but the Mad Hatter steals away Alice and takes her back to his garden. He tries to convince her stay, but she refuses and says that she wants to go home. The Mad Hatter forces Alice to kiss him and drink a sleep potion-

Len stopped reading and looked up at Lulu with horror.

"What?"

* * *

><p>short chapter is short DX<p>

as i say before... i just have to hang on until the angst... sob... sob... SOB SOBSOBSOBSOB-

*inhale*

GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!


	16. Chapter 16 : Kisses and Lessons

Sorry for the long break... I have absolutely no excuses this time.

I'm hoping that ill be able to start writing again as soon as I get this idea for another fanfiction i have out of my head...

So... I dont own VOCALOID?

...Enjoy?

* * *

><p>CHAPTER SIXTEEN<p>

_He could feel the heat slowly slipping from his new body, the screams ripping through his sensitive mind and the protests just barely slipping from his lips. Even if he dared escape, the consequences would only be worse later, not just for him, but the ones he loved..._

* * *

><p>"What do I do? What do I do?" Len wailed and shook Rin's shoulders.<p>

"Huh? Wha?" Rin grabbed Len's wrists and forced him to stop harrassing her. "What the crap are you talking about, crazy person!"

"As Alice I have to- to-" Len trailed off and covered his blushing face. "Nooooooo!"

"What's up?" Miku asked, tapping Len's shoulder as she walked into the music room with Luka. "Did something happen again?"

Len whipped his head up and stared at the ceiling for a few seconds before grinning creepily and laughing. "That's it... hahahaha!"

Rin raised an eyebrow and backed up. "Hey... are you okay?"

"Rin... you don't mind if I go missing for a week, do you? I'll be back when school ends, don't worry." Len chuckled again before grabbing Rin's hands and wailing. "They're going to make me ki-ki-kiiii-!"

"Huh?" Rin tilted her head to one side and sighed. "I can't understand what you're saying at aaall, Len."

He sat down on the couch and fumbled over his words for a while before he took a deep breath.

"They're going to make me kiss Maitake!" Len burst out.

"Huh?"

A loud pitched ring from Len's pocket broke the silence. He paused from shock before pulling his phone out from his pocket. Miku, Rin and Luka exchanged amused glances while Len pressed the talk button.

"Hello?" Len said grumpily, then his eyes widened with annoyance, his blush fading from his face. "Oh, it's you."

Rin blinked at his tone and raised an eyebrow, sending glances to the two girls standing beside her.

"I don't feel like talking to you right now, can I hang up...? No, not really... Yes, as a matter of fact, there is something bothering me... Why the hell did you go and tell mom about the music club?"

Finally understanding, Rin gasped and nodded to Miku and Luka. Suddenly Len stood up and his binder fell off the couch to the floor.

"The hell, Hayate! 'Because you felt like it'? Don't fuck with me! No matter what excuse you make, it will always be a lie! I know you just wanted to see her reaction, so congratulations! You got one! I'm sure both of us are very grateful!"

"Leeennn...!" Rin worriedly pulled on Len's sleeve, but he persistently ignored it.

"Don't give me that crap, like hell I want another lesson with you! I'm at schoo-" Len stopped suddenly, all emotions clearing off his face. "Wow. I'm impressed. I really didn't expect that, you seem to have sunk to a new low. I get it, Hayate. I get it. I'm coming."

Len shut his phone angrily and shoved it back into his pocket with a hiss. On the sleeve of his left arm, Rin still hung tightly.

"What happened?" She asked.

"The bastard threatened me." Len growled, pure loathing shining in his eyes. "He even sent a car here to pick me up. See, if I'm 'helped get through my trauma' by the little snitch, then he'll get a raise. We have to atleast have one lesson for proof that he's actually doing anything for the hospital or else he'll just get fired. Lucky me. If I don't go, he'll probably make some big deal about how I'm 'shutting myself up' and get me stuck at home again for the rest of school."

"Eh? But then you won't be able to perform!" Miku wailed. "And we still have lots to do on your new song!"

Len laughed darkly and picked up his shcool bag. "Exactly."

* * *

><p>He walked from the room without another word, leaving his club members to practice without a bass for a day.<p>

"Hayate-san, you have a visitor." A nurse in a white smock stood at the doorway to an office, the desk piled high with papers.

"Send him in." The psychiatrist grunted, not bothering to look up.

"Yes, sir." She bowed and retreated frm the doorway, giving room for Len to storm in.

"Black mailing bastard." He muttered and yanked out a chair from the other side of the desk to sit in. "I can't believe you would actually force me to come here."

Hayate snickered and pushed aside a stack of papers so that he could look at Len in the eyes.

"You say that with such loathing, Len, but would you really prefer a psychiatrist that wanted to really help you by having even more lessons?" Hayate asked with a raised eyebrow. "Where your mind would be picked through instead of having leisurely conversations for an hour?"

"...No, not really." Len sighed and waved a hand in front of his face. "I don't like people digging into my personal life."

The man behind the desk laughed loudly. Len glared again and crossed his arms.

"So? What today?"

"Well..." Hayate grinned. "I want to talk about your little play."

"W-what?" Len blushed wildly and jumped in his chair. "How do you know about that?"

"Don't underestimate my information network, Alice."

"Shut up!" Len snapped and cowered back down in his chair. "I'm not happy about it as it is, don't make things worse."

Hayate laughed and rested his arm on the desk. Len twitched at the slight movement but said nothing.

"Would you like it if I sent someone to supervise you during your time of stress, Lenny? Or perhaps I should come and _help_ you..."

Len's hand smacked down harshly on the armrest of his chair, trying not to let his slight fear show through his angered eyes.

He knew that the psychiatrist would do it, too.

"Don't." He hissed, glaring up at the man through his blonde bangs.

Hayate smiled, the gray bristle on his jaw standing out against pasty white skin, and pulled a sheet of paper out from his drawer.

"Well, I have work to do, and it's almost 4:40 so..." Hayate waved a hand towards the door. "Shoo."

Len stood up and growled to his psychaitrist angrily. "Bastard."

He stomped out of the room and slammed the door behind him. Hayate sighed and leaned back in his chair.

"I love you too, Len."

* * *

><p>Hayate is a dick :DD<p>

(Reviews plz~~)


	17. Chapter 17 : Dresses and Pictures

Back again with another chapter 3

VOCALOID is a program that is totally amazing and not made by me.

Enjoyz...

* * *

><p>CHAPTER SEVENTEEN<p>

Wednesday. Dress rehearsal. Len plopped his head down wearily on his desk and shut his eyes, half of him listening to the conversations buzzing around him.

The other half was busy screaming insanely at the thought of the crazy costumes he would be forced to wear that day.

"Len!" A sharp voice peirced Len's happy thought bubble and he forced his head up from the cold wood.

"Ugh..." He glared up into the glittering pink eyes of Kasane Teto, not even daring to guess what was coming next.

Behind the preppy pink haired girl was Lulu and Maitake, their faces bubbling with awfully contained laughter. Len grimaced and his eyes wandered down to the three outfits that Teto was carrying.

"Time to try on your Alice outfits~!" Teto crooned.

Len's face paled and his mouth dropped slightly.

"Oh _hell _no."

* * *

><p>Meanwhile, Rin was interrupted during first period by a slight buzzing coming from her breast pocket. She sighed, set down the coffee cups she was carrying and flipped open her orange cell. Her eyes widened slightly and she waved Miku and Luka over to her quietly.<p>

"Look at this!" Rin said, pointing to the text that she had just received from her twin brother.

_'HELP ME! BRING THE ROADROLLER!'_

Luka's eyebrow raised and she turned to the blonde drummer with confusion.

"Roadroller?"

"Ask another time, I wanna see what this is all about." Rin shook her head before looking up to her teacher. "Luka, Miku and I are going to go wash out these cups at the bathroom, kay?"

The teacher smiled appreciatively and nodded, giving the three girls permission to scamper out of the room and down the hallway to Len's classroom. As soon as they came near the closed classroom, they heard Len's desperate screams and the frustrated scolding of Kasane Teto. Rin blinked in alarm and flung open the door without hesitation.

"Len?" She yelled, her worried call cut off by another fretting outburst from the boy standing in the middle of the room.

"I SWEAR I'LL MURDER YOU!" Len cried, genuine tears building in his angry eyes.

Rin, Miku and Luka stood in the doorway, paralyzed as they stared at their band member, trembling with embarrassment.

Dressed in a very short, black lolita dress.

Len immediately noticed his sister's presecence in the room and let out a small whimper.

"Rin..." His gaze flickered to his exposed arms and legs...

And the white bandages wrapped around them.

"Len!" Rin pouted, striding across the room while trying desperately to ignore the curious looks of all the classmates around her burrowing into Len's skin. "Why didn't you tell me you were this cute in black?"

Len shook his head and latched onto her with a death hug, squeezing his eyes shut. Rin half thought that his heart had leapt out from his chest and been discarded on the floor to flop around in turmoil until Len could take it back without fear of a heart attack.

Miku and Luka were still standing in the doorway, blushes apparent on their faces and their eyes glazed over. Miku sick grin practically screamed all the sick fantasies swriling in her head to the world. Ugh. Rin sighed and rubbed her little brother's hair before turning to Teto as if she had just noticed that she was there.

"Kasane Teto!" Rin exclaimed, a smile breaking out onto her face. "I presume that you created this delicious costume?"

Teto smiled back, suspision still lingering in her gaze.

"Yes, isn't it perfect on him! If only he would just shut up and put the damn clothes on..."

Rin laughed and wormed her way out of Len's clutches over to where Teto stood a few feet away. Next to her was a gigantic pile of clothes, probably for the rest of the cast.

"I'm sorry about the trouble, he doesn't like dresses, as you can tell." Rin smirked and eyes her sulking brother, now standing pitifully alone in the center of the room with his fists balled in the lace trim on his short dress, as though pulling on it would make it longer.

As if it would cover up the cuts that were criss-crossed up his legs.

The cuts that _must_ be visible, their sin unable to be covered by the thin layers of white bandages.

"Yes, yes I can," Teto grinned.

Rin laughed for a few moments, her stalling only noticable to three other people in the room out of the many others. She scratched the back of her head and sighed lightly, giving a false tone of slight exhaustion.

"I'm guessing the bandages were also a bit of a problem?"

Immediately the atmosphere in the classroom changed, Miku and Luka tensing while Len's eyes widened. He suddenly became very interested with the laces on his new black boots.

"Well..." Teto chuckled uncomfortably and rolled her eyes.

"Yeah, Len got into a bit of a fight with the roadroller over the weekend!" Rin laughed and Len blushed at the inside joke and relief while the rest of the class raised their eyebrows with confusion.

"The roadroller won."

"Uhh... Rin-" Teto began, only to be interrupted by Rin clapping her hands together as though she just made the most amazing breakthrough of the century.

"OH!" Rin's mouth gaped open for a few silent seconds before an impish grin broke out her face.

A shiver trickled down Len's spine. He _knew_ that smile.

"Heeey Len~" She crooned, turning her attention to her now petrified brother. "You know what this is for?"

Rin pulled out her cell phone from her pocket and flipped it open. Len's face went from confusion, realization, and anger to fright.

"YOU WOULDN'T." Len gasped, putting his gloved hands to his mouth and taking a step back, running into the chalkboard.

"Oh, but I would." Rin's smile widened and she pushed a few buttons on her cell phone before taking a step forward. "An guess who's number I just so happened to get at a certain bowling alley last friday night?"

For a few moments Len thought over what she said, then Luka, Miku and him all gasped at once.

"RIN!" Len cried, blushing profusely. "Don't even think about it!"

With Miku and Luka gasping from laughter in the doorway and Rin closing in on a cowering Len, Teto wasn't sure which to address first.

She chose Len.

"Ooookay!" Teto clapped her hands together and promptly strode over to the boy she was supposed to be dressing. "Sorry to spoil the moment, but..."

She grasped Len's elbowed and dragged him over to a blue curtain strung so that it covered a corner of the classroom, giving privacy to the cast as they dressed. Nobody noticed when Luka and Miku both snapped out their phones and took hasty pictures of Len practically being dragged across the tile.

"We have work to do so..." Teto shoved a bewildered Len behind the curtain and waved cheerily to the uninvited guests. "See ya, Rin, Luka, Miku!"

She was immediately swallowed up by blue fabric and replaced by the squeals of a particular blonde followed by _very_ colorful words.

Rin sighed and turned towards the open door, pulling Miku and Luka down the hallway with her where they all shared a relieved sigh.

"GOODAAAMMMIT, LEEN!"

The three jumped at the sounds of many boxes falling over behind them, and they wearily turned to stare at the closed door of the classroom they had just left. Rin groaned and shook her head, choosing to ignore her brother's wails this one time.

"That boy's going to be the death of me, I swear."

* * *

><p>Who else besides me REALLY wants that picture of Len in a lolita dress?<p>

I do... really bad...

Review please!


	18. Chapter 18 : Guilt and Pressure

Been a while, but it's good to be back :D

I've been struggling lately... I know what i want to say but I'm sot sure how to word it ... heh heh heh 3

THE ONLY THING THAT KEEPS ME GOING IS REVIEWS :DD so please... if you are reading this (and you like it :D) then review!

VOCALOID is not mine~~~

* * *

><p>CHAPTER EIGHTEEN<p>

Len entered the house to be greeted by silence- that meant that his mother was at work. Thursdays always seemed to go by faster without the constant worrying of him mother's changing moods the moment he got home.

But today was different. Today had somehow managed to go even slower that usual, given that it was the last day of rehearsal before the festival.

He visibly paled, the realization finally sinking in. Quickly setting his shoes along the wall of the foyer and lugging his bass down the hallway, Len began to mutter random cuss words under his breath at no one in particular.

Tommorrow was the day that he would not only stand in front of hundreds of people in a dress and kiss a total creeper, but he would have to do it in front of his best friends and family.

Fuck.

He wasn't nearly as worried about his first concert... Len's hand twitched on his bedroom door's handle.

The concert.

A small moan tumbled from his lips as he pulled himself into his bedroom, being sure to carefully close the door behind him. He wearily set his bass down and began to unzip it, preparing to practice every single song on the list for the next day's performance.

The only problem was... where to start?

* * *

><p>The sun shone in through the yellow curtains mockingly, as though trying it's best to make the dreaded day come earlier. Len's eyes squinted underneath the burning light and let out a small moan, sitting up with a sigh and a lazy glance at the clock.<p>

6:47.

He yawned and rubbed his eyes as he began to stand up, stretching his sore muscles and thinking about pretty much anything but his two performances awaiting him. Len slowly made his way out of his bedroom and down the hall to the kitchen, where he knew his mother would be.

The moment she saw him, she looked up from the toast she was buttering and smiled brightly.

"Good morning, Len." She crooned, waving to him with the butter knife.

Len had to hold in a reflexive flinch at the gleam of the silverware in his mother's hands, scolding himself for being afraid of her, even for a second. Guilt clouded his mind and he took his time answering her.

"Good morning..." He trailed off, deep in thought, as he settled himself at the table.

"Today's a big day."

Len groaned, not wanting to be reminded. He closed his eyes and slouched on the dark wood.

"I know..."

The blonde blinked up at his mother, now turned away from him, and tried to ignore the little stabs of pain that he felt as he shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

From the wounds she gave him.

No matter what he told his friends... it still hurt. The wounds hidden from under layers of bandages still gave him discomfort throughout every second of the day. Deep down inside, there was the coiling fear that at any moment, she would stike again.

'That woman.'

A pained look crossed over Len's eyes as he thought about the play. The stares. So many people seeing through him to his stained skin.

_Dirty._

He flinched at his own thoughts, as though surpirsed that he had even considered it. Going back to his old lifestyle of self-loathing was not an option.

But so very tempting...

Len shook his head, completely aghast at his own mind for thinking up such disturing things.

No, he was done with the self hatred, the longing for pain and the need for the darkness.

He had moved on...

Or had he?

* * *

><p>"Len!"<p>

The blonde boy snapped up his head in surpirse, looking around for the source of the voice.

"Over here, baka!"

Len turned around from where he was wandering to his classroom to see Miku leaning on the edge of the large staircase by her own class. He waved sloppily, still weary from the practice he had done the night before. She grinned back and skipped over to where Len was standing, his bass slung over his back and his music in his hands.

"Yo!" Miku gave him a huge grin. "What's up?"

Len shrugged, his worries pushed into the back of his mind. "Our play is the third performance, so we just have enough time to run through the show once before we're on."

"Really?" Miku gave him a sympathetic look. "Atleast you'll be back in time for lunch before our co-n-ce-rt~!"

Len chuckled uneasily, rubbing the back of his head, before Miku caught his attention by coughing daintily.

"Ahem. While we're on the subject of the concert... I'm the happy, chosen one." Miku informed him with a smile.

"What?" Len tilted his head to the side in confusion.

She laughed before answering. "I am the messanger."

Len smirked for the first time in what felt like days.

"And what is your message?"

Miku leaned down until her mouth was just barely brushing Len's hair and whispered something quietly in his ear. Len's jaw dropped and he faltered before yelping with surprise.

"WHAT!" Len jumped back, flusteredly flapping his arms around in protest. "I can't do that! It's impossible! You _know_ I don't sing!"

Miku raised an eyebrow at her friend's arguement and put her hands on her hips.

"Oh really?" She paused as though recalling something. "Then why is it that everytime we spy on you before school and after you sing while you play your bass?"

"W-what?" Len blushed and froze. "You guys spy on me?"

Miku rolled her eyes.

"That's not the point."

She twirled on the balls of her feet until she was directly behind Len, who was still blushing madly.

"And the point is?" Len whipped around to face her angrily.

"We all think that it should be you to do it. Isn't is just perfect for the happy occasion?" Miku smirked and twirled a strand of her long pigtails in her hand.

Her hand paused and her smile dropped as she stepped closer to her friend, their eyes just inches apart.

"We want this for you." She whispered; her worried, desire filled eyes mirroring Len's.

Aqua eyes tore away from teal as Len dropped his gaze to the floor, still battling in his mind. His feet shuffled for a few moments before Miku sighed and stepped back, her hands on her hips and her head lowered in defeat.

"We have our ways of making you, you know." She told him as she backed up towards her own classroom. "It's either you sing, or nobody does."

"But-!" Len cried out, only to be interrupted once again by Miku.

"Please?" She whispered softly, just bearly audible over the commotion coming from the classes around them, preparing for the big day.

Len opened his mouth to reply, but Miku had already disappeared into the open doorway, her teal pigtails trailing after her. He sighed, shaking his head, before turning to walk into his own classroom, a new determination blanketing his worries for the concert.

He would deal with that when it came, just like he had with everything else.

* * *

><p>The next chapter will include a bit of yummy yaoi business 3<p>

And just a bit of Len whump~age XD

Review :3


	19. Chapter 19 : Curtains and Applause

Once again, I was late...

But if this works for any excuse- I've been having winter guard rehearsals non-stop and I've been moping about because the person i like is VERY THICK.

At any rate, I did promise Yaoi yummies, and I have delivered. hopefully. But there will be more next time too... and the time after that... and the time after that... etc.

I'm also thinking of writing a 'sequel' for this one, making the two weeks that Len doesnt remember a little 'dark', as and understatement and raising the rating.

... what do you guys think?

Review :3

... Did I already tell you that I dont own this? Oh, I did? Sorry :D

* * *

><p>CHAPTER NINETEEN<p>

Len waited anxiously behind the rosy curtain from where he sat, completely still, on a fake bench beside a cutout tree.

What a great time to think about the failness of the props, don't you think?

He fingered the black lace on his dress tediously, the shadows on the stage making him more nervous. The only other people around him were the last minute stage-fixers, rushing about shifting bushes and rabbit holes until they were satisfied. The noise of the crowd just behind a blanket of red and a few feet of stage seemed dulled by the pulsing sound of his blood, rushing in his ears.

Len breathed in slowly, trying hard to focus his attention on just one. Single. Thing...

Like how his boyfriend stood him up that very morning.

He _said_ that he would be there, but instead Len waited on his porch for-

No!

He was not going to think about that. He was going to think about cake. Yes, the cake and tea that he would be enjoying after the concert.

But... Kaitoooo...

Suddenly the sound of a microphone being testing brought him back into reality, snapping his head up to stare intently at the place where the curtains would soon part.

"Now presenting class A-3's play... Alice in Dreamland."

Len took a sharp breath as Kasane Teto announced the play, knowing that somewhere in the quickly silenced crowd was his mother, boyfriend, and club members.

"Please join us in a romantic, thrilling remake of the original; starring Len Kagamine as Alice, Sachiko Hinamoru as the White Rabbit, and Maitake Heiwajima as the Mad Hatter."

The curtains began to pull back and Len could just barely make out the pink, drill-like hair of Teto stepping back off the stage with her microphone.

As she left, she spoke the words that would cue the beginning of the play...

"Ladies and gentleman..."

Len's eyes flashed open and he drew himself into the character of Alice, a minunderstood creature of creativity and imagination. The lights from the stage clicked on, the bright rays shinging down on him as he posed on the chunk of rock. He looked up at the receding cutains with false boredom and a bit of longing as the mircophone attached to his ear fizzed to life.

"Please Enjoy."

* * *

><p>His breath coming out in short gasps, chest heaving from the effort, Len stood in the middle of the stage, the trees and bushes put in the exact same places that they had been in from the first scene of the play.<p>

It seemed like it had been a whole lifetime since Len had sat on that god foresaken bench.

Excitement bubbled up inside of him, and it took all of his energy not to burst out laughing with delight as he waited for the curtains to close on the cheering audience. His muscles seemed cramped in the final pose, standing away from the audience while holding a single blue rose towards the sky as though it was a final gift to the forgiven Hatter.

Finally the curtains meshed together and someone turned on the stage lights, cuing the frantic squeals he knew he would hear.

With wide, happy eyes, Len turned wordlessly to Lulu, to see her rushing towards him full speed.

"LEEEEEEN!" She screeched, jumping suddenly and pummeling him to the ground, continuing to squeal in his ears. "WEDIDITWEDIDITWEDIDIIIIIIITTT!"

"Lulu!" Len laughed, squirming pathetically under her until she finally pulled away to bounce around across the stage.

"Congrats, everyone!" She called out to all the tired performers scattered across the stage. "Come back to the classroom and we'll get some water, okay?"

Everyone called out an exhausted 'yeaaaah', before tugging off the props. Len heaved himself off the ground, suddenly feeling very lightheaded, and looked around absent mindedly. The whole class seemed gathered in one place, either chatting happily about the play's turn-out. Yet... it felt to Len like he wasn't there at all.

He was still trapped in the wonders of Alice.

"Jesus..." Len muttered under his breath, rubbing the back of his now aching head wearily, hoping that would straighten out his thoughts.

Just as he was about to lean down and pick up the rose that he had dropped earlier, a loud voice to his left caught his attention.

"Who are you here to see?"

Len turned to see a cluster of girls gathered around someone, all murmuring and blushing underneath their breath. He could make out Lulu's long blonde hair and Teto's drills along with Sachiko and Maitake. A few boys stood by with interest, while the others simply glanced up from their conversations. The blonde straightened back up, immediately curious, and listened in.

"He's cute... who is he here for?"

"Ohmigosh, he's freaking hot!"

Len sighed with understanding at the girl's attitude, before turning back to pick up the rose. A slight twinge sparked in his side and he cringed, feeling sore from the play. He didn't care about any boys at the moment, unless it was a stupid, lying, ridiculously gorgeous, absurdly kind hearted...

"Is Len Kagamine here?"

Len froze at the sound of his name, but also something else... He whipped around quickly and called out towards the voice before thinking.

"Kaito?"

The cluster of girls across the stage turned to look at him, allowing Len a perfect view to the bluenette that had just been on his mind. Kaito's face broke into a large, carefree smile at the sight of his boyfriend and waved lightly.

"Yo-!" He began, only to be cut off as a large bundle of red plaid leaped on him, hugging his waist almost desperately.

"Len?" Teto stumbled out of the way of the two embracing, almost running into Lulu. "You know him?"

Len promptly ignored her, making Teto gasp, and looked up at Kaito with bubbling eyes.

"Where were you? You promised to walk me to school today..." Len pouted and buried his face in Kaito's chest.

In reply, Kaito sighed and rubbed the top of Len's head while sharing a bemused glance with a still annoyed Teto.

"I know, and I'm sorry. I kind of..." He chuckled with embarrassment. "My friend spiked my drink last night and I didn't wake up until nine..."

Len gasped, snapping his head up to gape at Kaito with disbelief.

"But- but- you said that you would never ever _ever_ drink again after what happened last time!" Len wailed, oblivious to the humored looks on his classmate's faces as they slowly gathered around the them. "Or do you not remember because you were to goddamn drunk to realize what you were doing until my-"

He broke off with a blush, pulling back from Kaito a few inches to look around flusteredly at his laughing classmates. For a few seconds the blonde stood, paralyzed, before he yelped and pushed away Kaito angrily.

"NOW LOOK WHAT YOU'VE GONE AND MADE ME SAY, FATTIE!" Len wailed, tears of humiliation building in his eyes.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm just awful... Len?" Kaito peered down at Len with a jolt of realization. "What...?"

His eyes focused in on a dark stain of a rusty color on the side of Len's stomach.

"What?" Kaito kneeled down and held Len's hips, making him yelp with surprise.

"K-Kaito?" Len tilted his head, the lightness in his head growing stronger. "What... are..."

His legs shook before they gave out, making him stumbled against Kaito. In return the bluenette stood up and help to balance him.

"You're bleeding, why didn't you tell me earlier?" Kaito yelled angrily, but his eyes betrayed his fear.

The last of the cast that hadn't already left shared bewildered glances as though noticng the blood for the first time.

"I.. I didn't even realize..." Len frowned with confusion. "How..?"

"That doesn't matter... god..." Kaito cussed underneath his breath before hooking Len's legs up in his arm and pulling him up in a swift motion.

"Hey!" Teto finally spoke up as Kaito rushed past her. "Where are you taking him? Why is he bleeding? Who the hell are you, anyway?"

"The hell to all the questions..." Kaito muttered before he stopped and turned to address Teto, Lulu, Maitake, Sachiko, Kio and a few others. "If you must know, I'm taking him to the music room to switch his bandages, he's bleeding because of a road roller, and..."

Kaito smirked and shifted the now silent Len in his arms.

"My name is Kaito Shion, 18 years old, and Len's boyfriend."

* * *

><p>Theeeere all done :DDD<p>

Hope you enjoyed~~

Please review... the button's right there :)


	20. Chapter 20 : Predicaments and Stripes

It been FOREVER since i last updated... heh hehehehehehehehhh...

sorry about that 3

ive been really busy with winter guard, homework, dumb choir shit, and pretty much everything else in the world.

not to mention that my motivation in this sotry is waning preeetty badly...

ill try and update as soon as possible, but i cant make any promises!

VOCALOID IS NOT MINE :33 enjoy :)

* * *

><p>CHAPTER TWENTY<p>

"You're an idiot." Kaito hissed, glaring down at the bundle of red and black in his arms as he stepped quickly down the hallway.

Len pouted and peered up with mock hurt. Kaito grunted in reply and looked up with a blush. He couldn't stand those eyes.

"Where's the music room?" Kaito continued, taking a left from the main hallway and heading up the stairs.

He ignored all the looks he got from curious shoppers and students, choosing instead to glare menacingly at the walls in hope that they would move out of his way before they could notice the blood staining his shirt.

"Keep going up, it's on the third floor on the right." Len spoke up. "By the way, what time is it?"

"Huh?" Kaito raised an eyebrow and took a deep breath as he stopped to rest on the second floor. "Why do you care?"

"Because I have a concert at two that I have to prepare for!" Len scolded angrily, his voice breaking off into a low whine when Kaito stopped abruptly by the door to the music room.

Kaito shook his head and mumbled something under his breath before entering the room. The first thing that he noticed was the girl sitting on the couch, her teal pigtails draped over her shoulders and her face pulled together in concentration.

"Kaito?" Miku looked up from where she was studying lyrics to stare at the figure in the doorway in surprise. "What are you-"

She blushed when she saw Len in Kaito's arms and brought her hand to her mouth.

"Oh."

Katio sighed and stepped into the room, gingerly closing the door behind him before explaining.

"Somehow this idiot" -Len smacked Kaito in the face- "Managed to open up one of his wounds during the play."

Miku gasped and stood up from the couch suddenly, rushing forward to help Kaito ease Len onto it.

"Hi, Miku." Len greeted kindly, giving her a smile before turning to stick out his tongue at Kaito. "Where's everyone else? Aren't we supposed to do the fittings for our outfits?"

Miku nodded and averted her eyes as Kaito began to undo the ribbons on Len's dress.

"Luka is still doing her shift at our cafe and Rin is in the storage room-" Miku pointed to a closed door across the room. "-getting changed right now."

Len nodded and shrugged off the short sleeves of the dress and discarded his gloves on the floor. Miku looked back up at the two and gasped when she saw the blood leaking through a large bandage wrapped around Len's stomach.

"Ohmigosh, are you okay?" Miku hurried over to Len and kneeled down next to the couch.

"Yeah, it doesn't hurt too much." Len frowned and poked at the white cloth.

"Well don't poke it, idiot." Kaito tsked, giving him a relieved smile.

It wasn't as bad as either of them had thought it would be- with a new bandage he would be fine for the concert. Atleast if nothing went wrong.

"Where do you keep the first-aid kit?" Kaito asked, looking aorund the room with curiousity.

"Up on the shelf beside the tea packets." Miku said, leaning forward to pick up the lyrics once again.

Kaito nodded and walked over to the cabinets to search for the gauze. Meanwhile, Len leaned back and sighed, cringing when he felt the cloth wrapped around his stomach give a sharp tug. He pinched a corner of the bandage and shifted it into a more comfortable position, successfully making more of his wound open in the process.

"Well don't pull on it either, Len. Or tug. Or wrench. Or scratch. Or rub. As a matter of fact, how about you just don't touch it at all?" Kaito came back to the blonde's side and slapped his hand away before plopping down beside him.

Len grunted with annoyance but relaxed as Kaito switched the soiled gauze with as fresh layer, his thoughts trailing off towards nowhere until...

"TADAAAAA!" The door to the storage room burst open, revealing Rin in an adorable creation by Teto.

Her top was a black and red striped tank-top that only went down to her stomache with a v-neck and rips, patches and stitches laced together all around the fabric. Two black, lacy fingerless gloves reached up to her elbows, a buckle and strap connecting them to the edges of her shirt. She had black leather shorts that were way too short to be school appropriote and a red belt around her waist. Red suspenders hung down from her belt loops and black and red striped thigh-high socks hugged her thin legs tightly. To finish off the whole look, she wore bright red platform shoes with black laces and a large black ribbon in her hair.

"Isn't it absolutely adorable?" Rin cried, not even paying attention to her brother until she spun around and stared him in the face.

She froze for a while before frowning.

"Len... why aren't you wearing any clothes?"

* * *

><p>by the way... happy easter :DD<p>

review before you go... it only takes a little bit of your time and makes me suuuuper happy :33


	21. Chapter 21 : Lunch Breaks and SetUp

God, this is awkward.

Weeeeell even if i had any excuses, they would sound prett-y pathetic. Considering that its been, what... practically three months since i last updated? Beside the fact that its summer and i really have nothing else to do but read and write, ive found myself writing another fanfic instead of just continuing with this one... again...

So, sorry about that :DD i woke up this morning with a strange CONVICTION! to write this dumb thing and just _get it over with _before school starts... i wonder if ill be able to do it...

I bet i can if i try :DD

btw, after i finish this little arc (the summer festival thingy/ concert) then ill be ALMOST ready to start the sequel... and thats when it starts getting exciting :DD im hoping that everyone's been wondering about those two weeks that Len cant seem to remember...

Well thats what the sequel is going to be about, folks :)

But enough of that, lets get on with the story, shall we? VOCALOID does not belong to me, or this wouldnt be FANFICTION, it would be FICTIONSUP. the place for people who like to write random crap about their own already popular characters :33

~~~~

* * *

><p>CHAPTER TWENTY ONE<p>

Len popped a piece of avacado sushi into his mouth with a small moan of appreciation, his eyes fluttering closed. Beside him Kaito was munching away on onigiri and the rest of the band was carrying the speakers to the stage.

Why? Because there was only _twenty minutes until two and Len was _toootally not freaking out.

They had promptly booted the couple out into the hallway after dressing Len and practicing, saying that a 'near cripple can't carry heavy things'. To say the least, Len was not amused.

"Have I already mentioned how sexy you look right now?" Kaito deadpanned, sending Len a not-intirely-innocent glance.

"Only about fifty times." Len pouted.

Kaito smirked and waggled his eyebrows, raking his view up the bassist's new outfit. The black slacks, black and red stiped turtle-neck and the suspenders could not have been better matched with the rest of the band's outfits. Luka had a mid-thigh length leather pencil skirt while Miku had a pleated one, and Luka had a short-sleeved shirt while Miku wore a slip of red and black striped fabric that could pass for nothing more than a sport's bra.

Teto was very pleased with the outcome.

Not to say that Len wasn't of course, but he probably would've appreciated how good the top hat and clip-on earring looked on him if he wasn't about to explode from anxiety. Even though Len had sang the dumb song over and over again, practice still had nothing on the real thing.

"Len!"

The blonde snapped his head up, peering with anticipation at the teal head poking around the corner of the stairs.

"It's time!" Miku called, a nervous but excited grin spread across her face.

Len nodded back in response and stood to throw away his styrofoam bento box, then pecked Kaito on the cheek and hurried off down to the stage.

As the group plugged in their instruments, each one of them glanced towards the curtains of the stage no less than three times. Seperately.

"So... you guys ready?" Rin piped up, her voice steady and eager.

Len silently gave her a round of applause for her efforts, considering that her legs were trembling from behind the bass drum.

"Sure..." Luka muttered, still trying to practice on her keyboard before their five minutes were up.

"Aw, come on guys!" Miku suddenly crowed, not looking fearful in the slightest.

Len decidely to clap in his head for her too, just for being ridiculously enthusiastic if nothing else.

"We've got this motherfucker in tha BAG!" She cheered, pumping her fist in the air.

Rin grinned, seeming more confident now that there was atleast _somebody_ ready to go.

"I second the notion!" Rin yelled loudly, and for a second Len could swear that the audience behind the curtain laughed.

"We've practiced like nobody's business, so we should be fine..." Luka piped up, giving Len an encouraging smile.

He returned it just to make himself feel a little better.

From off-stage Teto gave a thumbs up, in which each of the band members returned with varying amounts of excitement. Then the pink drills vanished behind the curtains and Teto's amlified voice filled the theatre.

"Next up at 2 o'clock is a band from the music club, known as Project Vocal!" Teto called out, and the curtains began to pull open. "Please listen to them!"

Miku grinned with all the confidence in the world and waved to the rows and rows of spectators before turning to Rin and nodding. A devilish smirk broke out onto the twin's face as she beat her drum sticks together.

And in the three seconds before Melt began, Len swept the crowd and saw, sitting in the second row, the two most important people in his life.

After that the rest of the crowd didn't even matter.

* * *

><p>welp thats itttt :B<p>

Next chapter you get to know what Len's song is! yaaaaay! bet you've already guessed... herp derp :P

Happy fourth of july (a bit early, yeah?) and PLEASE REVIEW! JUST LOOK AT THIS BEAUTIFUL ALMOST NEWISH THINGY DOWN THERE! ITS SO CONVIENT!

pleeeeaaaaase? (puppy dog eeeyyyeeeesss~~~~)


	22. Chapter 22 : Perform and Remember

wow. just... wow. i know i was all super pumped and shit over the summer... and so i wrote like three chapter and i was all like 'yeah, i can do this!' and what not...

but then something really bad happened to my poor baby cherry and i had to delete aallll of my stories... including what i just wrote...

and so thats what happened. i couldnt bring myself to rewrite it because i loved the original sooooo much DD':

but if its any consultation, i actually like this version better :33

in case you were wondering, yes. this chapter does make more sense with some background knowledge on the song len wrote. you should probably listen to it while you read. it really does help, i prooomise :33 btw i just now figured out that i cant make hearts. and i keep on forgetting and making them anyway... or maybe now i can...

3

i guess well see XP

vocaloids not mine, the sky is blue, fanfiction is for FANS, edward elric is super awesome, and reviewing fanfictions makes everybody happier :DD

* * *

><p>Len breathed hard, a huge smile on his face despite the sweat clinging to his skin. The zone he had finally melted into broke the moment World is Mine ended... and the realization settled in. He gulped hard and shared a nervous glance with Miku.<p>

He had to hand it to her for being able to stand up there and sing to so... sooooo... many people... So... many... Oh_god_andnowhewasthinkingaboutit-

"Thank-you, that was World is Mine!" Miku called out, her smile on full blast. "And now we have a most specialful song, created by this little mastermind over here, Len Kagamine!"

When the crowd turned to the blonde and began cheering, it took all of his energy to grin, wave, and not run away screaming.

"Please listen, to Butterfly on Your Right Shoulder."

Then Miku began.

_'A purple butterfly on your right shoulder,_  
><em>We kissed in the corner of that room.<em>  
><em>I learned what it's like to feel heart broken,<em>  
><em>An echoing piano...'<em>

Len licked his lips and met Miku's encouraging eyes before leaning into the microphone and blessing the entire auditorium with his voice.

_'Spins inside my head!'_

The blonde pressed in further, his eyes folding blissfully closed on the audience and into the world of the music he created, his voice slipping and skipping beautifully up the scales. As he reached up into a near scream, he could feel only the perfection in the harmony as his voice mixed with Miku's, not the awed gazes of his classmates and family.

His eyes snapped open to the lights before he dug into the chorus.

_'A purple butterfly on your right shoulder,_  
><em>We kissed in the corner of that room!<em>  
><em>I learned what it's like to feel heart broken,<em>  
><em>And echoing piano spins inside my head!'<em>

_'If I'm having a bad dream, then hurry and wake me up._  
><em>What happens at the beginning are trivial, right?<em>  
><em>Even if you ask me what feels right, I won't be able to answer.<em>  
><em>I've lost my way because the beautiful night deluded me.'<em>

The blonde stepped back a bit and let Miku dominate the next line, not daring to look into the crowd.

_'My lashes longer, eyes curved with liner, I wear a glossed lip!'_

With a nervous smile and a simple prayer, Len meshed their voices again.

_'A purple butterfly on your right shoulder,_  
><em>We kissed in the corner of that room!<em>  
><em>I learned what it's like to feel heart broken,<em>  
><em>And echoing piano spins inside my head!'<em>

Len and Miku pulled back for a small break in the music, both gasping for breath, and let the music wash over them. The bassist lifted his head, eyes clouded with worry and heart beating fast, and looked out into the audience for the first time.

And he felt he world sway.

The bright lights and pounding beat may have had an affect on the smiling faces, cheering lips, waving hands, and swaying hips, but there was not. One. Way. That Len could have mistaken the tears in his mother's eyes. His felt his heart slow down then crush, only to bounce back again at full speed.

Because his disturbed mother was crying with joy. His erotic boyfriend was smiling so hard it looked painful. His beloved sister was laughing and gasping at the same time. His close friend was closing her eyes and playing his very own creation. His partner in voice was dancing and blowing kisses to the crowd.

And what was he doing?

Ad-libbing.

Before he even knew what was happening, Len had opened his mouth and started spewing random notes off the top of his head. Miku turned to look at him like he was crazy, but all super-high Len did was wink and beckon her to join him. A grin broke out on her face just seconds before she turned back to the microphone.

Len decided that he was going to write in their little duet later.

But then the sounds of a piano startled him out of his thoughts and made both the singers spin around with surprise. Luka stood there, calm as could be, with a blissful smile on her face and closed eyes. Her fingers flitted across the keys into an upbeat melody that trilled and swayed through Len's bass line. The audience ate it up, and Len couldn't have been more delighted.

Miku took Luka's solo as motivation and jumped onto the mic with a series of high, clear notes that accented both the new piano melody and the chorus. Meanwhile the twins were about to burst from excitement and pride.

While Len took a note to add this in later as well, he joined Miku in a lower chord until the original lyrics came back.

_'When I got wet in the rain, my hair looked almost frozen._  
><em>I vented my loneliness into the toilet bowl,<em>  
><em>I'm shivering, and cold, and I'm waiting for you.'<em>

A content smile spread across Len's face as he broke into his next, favorite verse and the harmony warmed his frayed nerves.

_'If I chase you then turn away, what I really want is for you to follow._  
><em>I'm serious, so if you think that I'm joking, you'll be hurt,<em>  
><em>Understood?'<em>

Instead of letting Miku take over the next line like before, Len decided on the spur of the moment to add in the background a small string of high notes.

_'My nails painted red, a cheap ring on my finger,'_

Miku turned and gave Len a bright smile as they both snag, showing her appreciation to his add on.

_'When I'm hurt, I buy new earrings.'_

Len took a deep breath, ready to conquer the bridge.

_'Hold me, I have an empty body,_  
><em>The only one who can fill it is you.<em>  
><em>Isn't it you? I've known it from the start...'<em>

Aquamarine eyes met dark cobalt and Len felt a spark of temptation pass from the audience and up his spine. He licked his lips and sent a suggestive tilt of the head towards Kaito's direction, and if the blush on his face was any clue, Len knew he'd hit the mark.

_'I can't control myself anymore!'_

_'I'm filled with so much regret I could die,_  
><em>I have just as much regrets as pleasure.<em>  
><em>I'm going insane, stop me please,<em>  
><em>Together now, let's end this!'<em>

The last piano note hit and the band heaved a huge breath, their faces bright and eyes wide. They turned to each other with a blissful sense of accomplishment, the sounds of the crowd washing over them...

"Encore!"

Miku's head snapped up, confused, and let out an almost hysterical laugh that ended in a pant. Len shook his head and was about to tell Rin to start up Love Words before he heard the voice again, only with more people.

He turned, along with Miku and Luka, to stare open-mouthed into the audience.

"Encore! Encore! Encore!"

A small breath of air caught in his chest, and Len felt the sudden need to go hug someone. Preferably Kaito. He laughed out loud for a few minutes, freely incredulous at the idea, however loved it made him feel, before the sound of drums made him nearly trip over himself.

In the process of turning around to investigate Rin's sanity, the piano melody from the break caught him off guard.

Slowly, slowlyslowly but surely, Len could feel a smile creeping onto his face and the music pumping in his veins before he snapped to his senses, realized that he was supposed to sing very soon-

And he didn't remember the lyrics.

...

So in the excitement, the confusion, the exhaustion and the long lost feeling of fulfilling ease, words from year before, memories really, were brought back to the surface of his mind.

The memories of that night.

**_'Was what leaked out the wound love or...?'_**

_Was this why he was here? No. He was here to end this. To stop it stopitstopitstopit stop it now. Was what leaked from his wound love? Or hate? For whom? Himself? He decided he'd figure that out at the bottom..._

Len could see out of the corner of his eyes that Miku was confused at his sudden change in lyrics, but by this point, Len couldn't stop. The words kept tumbling from his mouth, as if they were the lyrics that really were made for the song._  
><em>

**_'I'm so filled with reject that I want to die.'_**

_Because right now all he wanted was for this to end. For it all to just be done with. He'd been turned away his whole life. So filled with reject that he wanted to die. So he placed his hands on the railing, and contemplated his last efforts with a detached indifference..._

The audience was oblivious, soaking in Len's voice without listening to the words. Even though he was there, and even though he could physically feel the cotton rubbing on his neck, the sweat staining his back, and the heat of the lights, he was still mentally trapped inside the cold._  
><em>

**_'I only get pain from pleasure.__'_**

_He had tried so hard to make more, new connections. New friends. But it had backfired. He learned that you could only get pain from pleasure, and never the other way around. Pain just fucking hurt. So he was ending the agony, right here..._

And he could feel the gazes of the crowd, could register and recognize his fingers on his beautiful bass. Yet somehow, in the back of his mind, the memories and feelings still lingered._  
><em>

_**'It's spinning out of control,'**_

_He was lost in so many ways._

He was stuck in between both worlds, aware of the present and the past at the same time but being unable to change anything. But then he supposed that's how it would have to be, an insane train with no tracks, no driver, and no way of stopping._  
><em>

_**'Just make it stop,'**_

_This was all he could take._

He absentmindedly decided that he would board the train anyway, because the other passengers were worth the risk. And he was stronger than before. The lyrics were already coming back, as did the calm._  
><em>

_**'Before I really do break!'**_

...

...

...

A few breaths in, a few out... he figured he could do it if he tried.

* * *

><p>okay, so, it ended up being just a bit more angsty than i planned. oh well :33 (it was worse the first time i uploaded it, then i went back and fixed some shit. it was too angsty for poor little lenny)<p>

if you didnt really get the last bit, the bold italics are the song lyrics, normal italics are the flashbacks/memory shit, and the normal text is present. all good? good.

SO! we finally got to find out what song len wrooottee! whoop-de-fucking-doo!

i bet you all already knew, didnt you? sigh. it's still a good song, even if i didnt surprise you :33

well, thats all for right now, so...

REVIEW! COME BACK NEXT TIME!


End file.
